OK - I’m back.

Hi.

I have been taking a break - as if you hadn’t noticed

I took a break from work and kind of decided to take a break from everything. I wanted to say Happy New Year to Everyone and thank you very much to everyone that sent me Christmas Wishes and New Year Wishes and sorry I wasn’t around to respond.

We had a good Christmas. Rowan had a great time. Loved it and totally went for Santa in a big way this year. We left out a mince pie and milk and an apple for the reindeer. They got stockings and basically too much other stuff!

I loved watching Rowan get so into it and I can’t wait till next year when they are both excited

I will post some pictures. We had  no digital camera this year so BN took loads on our SLR. I’ll get those developed and see if I can get some of them on here. We don’t have a scanner so not sure how I’ll do that..!?

We continue to be concerned about Rowan really and I’m quite down about it at the moment. She is still vomiting. This latest bout started on the 16th December. Since then, she has pretty much vomited daily. She’s down to 2 stone. She is starting to look skeletal. Her eyes are red rimmed. She’s knackered and back to having long naps most days.

She looks drawn and tired. And pale.

I am worried. I am so worried that I could be missing something that needs to be addressed as much as I am convinced she is just suffering from a virus and responds to being ill with bouts of vomiting.

It’s so hard to say.

I was overwhelmed tonight with how tiny she felt in my arms when I carried her up to bed. She now weighs less than her sister who is under 17 months old.

She is reasonably interested in food. She’s eating mash potato most days and is very keen on tinned bolognaise for the last couple of days. She doesn’t really complain of nausea but has said the last few days that she doesn’t want to be sick but she has to be sick when she’s eaten too much. She said she didn’t like to be full.

I asked her if she was sick at nursery and she said no. I asked why and she said because they would be upset. All those things linked together make it sound psychosomatic. Is she causing her own vomiting? Is that even possible?

She doesn’t do anything to make herself vomit. No fingers down her throat, no stressing, no wretching. She just says it’s coming and puts her hand to her mouth. Sometimes it’s time delayed but she’s rarely wrong.

I asked her if she could stop herself being sick and she said no. She said that she didn’t want to do it but it was difficult to stop it. She’s bizarrely intellectual in these conversations. It’s like talking to a child twice her age. She complained today that her back won’t stop swallowing.

I am stumped.

Utterly. Obviously we are taking her back to the doctor next week. The weight loss can’t continue if nothing else. She’ll have to have some kind of supplement I guess.

But I am scouring the internet looking for symptoms that sound even remotely like what she has to see if I can make sense of it in any way.

I am worrying that something could really be wrong with her and we are missing it. Would stomach growths produce symptoms like this? Is there anything that anyone knows of that could produce chronic vomiting? Immediately afterwards she’s back to eating.

Yesterday we took her for lunch and she was enjoying pasta with no problem whatsoever. At the end of the meal she was sick. Everything came up. Immediately after she’d finished she asked for her ice cream and polished it off no problem. No vomiting.

In the middle of this meal she said she was going to be sick and I took her to the toilet and this is where she told me that she had to be sick because she had eaten too much.

Anybody… any ideas???