Battle of the Bulge - update

Things are going well.. I’m back on track a little…. definitely eating better and generally  making better choices over the last year and more importantly over the last 2 weeks.

A good tip for anyone doing weight watchers.. I’ve been very happy on the core plan for a while and have lost over 2 stone…. but things had gone stagnant and  my eating habits… although on the whole good were just not as good as they could be.

I think the thing for me is defo portion control. I don’t eat badly really - I know I don’t. My problem is I eat too much.

I don’t eat potato - I eat 2 portions of potatoes. And while this works for a while because you’re following the points system on the core plan, I think eventually if you’re eating too much (whether you’re following the plan or not) basically … you’re just eating too much.

So - I swapped to the points plan. I’m enjoying it. It’s renewed my enthusiasm and I’ve lost about 5lbs in 10 days. So I feel back in the swing of it.

The only snag is that my wedding dress shop warned me not to lose too much weight as I’ve ordered the right size for me now and that dropping shed loads would

a) cause me to spend loads in alteration costs and

b) change the shape of the dress around my top half if too much had to be altered…

I can’t drop far below the size 14 version without risking making my dress look ‘altered’

So as far as I can see it - that’s a damn fine reason to drink this beer next to me here

Weekend stuff…

It’s been a really lovely weekend.

We haven’t really done anything so much except potter about.

I’ve cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom like I usually do on a Sunday… done a coupla bits… bought mother’s day card and pressie… (unknowingly intelligently I have opted to visit my folks on Mothering Sunday, meaning I have to buy a present can take the present with me)… this is a load off my mind as you can tell…  

We took the girls out for shopping yesterday and had lunch in a little cafe where utterly abnormally, they were a joy and a delight to be around. We found a little place with cheap cafe food in a slightly more faux-upmarket decor … if that makes sense..?!

The result though, was a really nice lunch and the girls were an absolute pleasure to be with.

We didn’t do much of anything else yesterday I don’t think…. (not sure why I struggle to remember yesterday…. Surely a sign of over working myself)

We organised some wedding stuff… getting measured for the suits and stuff, I picked my bridesmaids dresses all that kind of stuff..

Typical ‘weekend stuff’ stuff

Then today - we had a pretty lazy day again. We got up late… thanks to the girls playing in their room for a while this morning… we had a late breakfast… and went to the park, fed the ducks… had a run about…

[....Is it just me or does Ella suddenly look like a child and not a baby?! She's enormous ... and... today was our first ever trip out without the pushchair... (actually it's the second but first sounds better!!)]

There has been moments today when they’ve been a little hmmm…. how to put it….? Testing? Rowan is testing the theory of bad moods and possible causes at the moment…. for example … today she was absolutely fine in the park and then was suddenly … foul.

Her explanation?

The sun got in her eyes and that made her grumpy.

But.. hey. I can see it for what it is. She’s just not sure what the rules are for this type of thing. She has no idea what constitutes a good reason for a bad mood. For all I know she listens to my reasons sometimes and thinks I’m an absolute fruitloop!

So… we came back and collapsed unconscious on the sofa for 40minutes whilst the girls went brain dead to Peppa Pig DVD (gotta love it) and then put Ella down for a nap.

Rowan and I made biscuits …

(out of a ready to bake kit from M&S - really recommend it I have to say … the biscuits were really nice and it was dead easy) and we attempted to watch a movie together… we picked Cinderella Twist in Time (Xmas present from Grampty) … 5 minutes after this photo,

she wanted it turned off because it was boring!!

Then she specifically requested this movie (5 points if you can guess it from the still) and paid attention to it for approximately 9 minutes before she wandered off. Not quite time for the cinema yet then.

She is funny.

But one thing for sure….. she is gorgeous.

Battle of the Bulge

Battle of the Bulge, originally uploaded by Little Nut Tree.

This is me now then. Battle of the Bulge not going anywhere right now really is it..?

I am still trying to watch what I eat on the whole and I am being mostly healthy. Friday nights have started to be a bit of an ‘over-relaxed’ affair and I have to reign that in slightly but … on the whole… we’re being reasonably good.

Almost 5 months to go now until the Big Day… and the dress is ordered. The shop I’ve bought it from have ordered a 16 (US 14) and that’s slightly to big all round especially on the bust area and waist but it’s too much of a risk (that I’m definitely not willing to take) to order the smaller size and then find later that it needs to be let out and that I’m desperately trying to lose 7lbs the week before the wedding.

No thanks to that particular scenario!!

To be honest.. I have quite a strange figure. I have a weight that I seem to carry pretty well and even my doctor didn’t believe I weighed what I do. My main problem is my thighs and bum area.

The wedding dress fitting confirmed that I am in fact a mighty fine pear!

They did all my measurements and I am … a 10/12 on top (again US 8/10) a 14/16 on my waist and an 18 on my hips.

I mean seriously - how am I ever supposed to buy a proper dress?! I was stunned.

So.. these are my new jeans. Even though I had got into size 16 jeans these are an 18. Not for any reason other than the style of jean demands the next size up. I spoke to a friend about it and told her it felt like a step backwards.

Why oh why would I want to buy a size 18 pair of jeans when I can fit into a size 16?? She reassured me that (at a lovely size 12), she does in fact have jeans from the same shop and of varying styles that range in size from 10 -14 just depending on cut.

At this point - I chilled out somewhat.

No there wasn’t a secret extra 7lbs on my bottom that only appeared when I went to try on trousers at Next, it is just that different clothes fit differently.

Fine. So size 18 kickflares from Next it is then. I like them
I was reading a weight loss blog this morning, not something I do regularly actually .. but I got a link to it and so off I went. I went right back through the archives and found her first post.

It struck me that pretty much everyone is the same. I remember when I first lost loads of weight and got down to 9.5 stone all the way from 17 stone (240lbs)… I couldn’t quite get it into my head that I’d lost loads of weight.

I was watching what I ate and of course I was aware I was slimmer. A little at first, then a bit more… a bit more and week by week the lbs dropped off and the clothes got a little bit baggier.

I was at uni at the time and I had no scales. So everything I lost could only be tracked by my measurements (which I took every month-ish) and by how my clothes felt and fitted (or didn’t).

My sister was a Slimming World consultant at the time and so everything I was doing followed the basic principles of that scheme and soon I realised that you could eat shedloads and lose weight. It was great. I went to visit my sister and my niece every couple of months and weighed myself on her SW scales and saw great losses which spurred me on no end.

When I look back at it probably one of the best things was having no scales because I was following the rules in principle - occasionally I had days where I didn’t behave but generally I was doing great and this meant that I never saw the weeks where I didn’t lose, or gained etc. Only weighing in every 8 weeks or so means you see losses of 1st or 20lbs which is so motivating it’s unreal.

The thing was - my head never really caught up. I remember a good while later, standing and taking measurements and seeing my waist was 26inches and thinking that was good as it meant that I’d lost another inch or whatever it was. But still felt like I had to wear decent clothes that covered, or ’suited’. I still behaved big even though I was small.

I was in size 10 tops and size 14 jeans (oh yes! to the pear shape) but still I felt like a big girl. An overweight girl - on a lot of days. Not every day granted, but enough of the time to stop me appreciated the result of all my hard work.

The weird thing is that 8 years later I am now back up to an unhealthy weight (following two pregnancies obviously) and in my head I struggle to remember that I’m not 10st. I walk through the shops and catch my reflection in windows and think ‘ Christ - who is that person?!’ It’s just not what I think of when I imagine myself and that part of weight loss is the hardest part I think.

You can get so caught up in the psychological part of it - about whether we should be motivated or whether we’re allowed that treat, what I look like - or what I *feel* that I look like - or whether we’re having a fat day or a thin day and how that affects what I eat for the rest of that day, or that week or that meal out etc. etc. etc.

I have got into a pattern where I weigh myself every day because I’ve convinced myself that the daily losses of a lb push me to be better behaved. But to be honest - would I still be here in March nearly, the same weight as I was in November if that were really the truth?

The fact is I’ve put 4lbs on in the last 7 days and I don’t know how that’s happened at all so how much of an eye am I keeping on myself really?

08/12/2007 Battle of the Bulge.

08/12/2007, originally uploaded by Little Nut Tree.

Battle of the Bulge… I am getting there… slowly but surely… I spent the middle of the year lost a bit… happy with a stone lost and a bit content. Then I got this raging viral gastroenteritis thing that’s going round - lost 7 lbs in one weekend and it seems to have spurred me on a bit… keep thinking of that dress fitting in February…

I keep visualising what I would like to see on the scales next Monday… a WW tip that seems to be working for me…

ps - don’t you just love my slippers!?!?! £8 FROM TESCO!!!! I love them… The phrase ‘my feet are too warm’ just does not exist in my life…

LOVE SLIPPERS!!!

**Edit - oh yes… and these are my new size 16 jeans I’m wearing thank you very much!!

Bleeding ‘eck

I had a blood test this morning. I am a bit run down and not losing weight easily so my doctor (the mardy one from the other day) in his infinite wisdom … wanted to do a thyroid function check.

I don’t think it’s my thyroid.

I think it’s the fact that I’m not dieting properly and still expecting it to drop off like it was in the beginning when I was being really good.

Why be all perceptive and ‘tough love’ on me and then renege and offer a blood test for Thyroid function?

Anyway. Not the point. The point was the nurse.

I got there promptly and was called through immediately this morning.

She was very stern. The kind of nurse you would have expected to see at school. The one who would just happen to be on duty the day you tried to pull a sicky for PE. The one who would just happen to have the mother of all sticky yukky medicines for anyone with ‘period pain’ on a wet Wednesday afternoon when you were supposed to be playing hockey with Team Head Whacker from the other side of town.

To teach you a lesson.

I didn’t much like the look of her.

But then it’s in my nature to be friendly. I kind of have the approach that everyone has a fun loving and genial side. All you have to do is find it. So when she asked me what the test was for… I told her.. and smiled warmly.

‘I don’t personally think it’s thyroid though. I think maybe I have a touch of anaemia’ (pretty common for me - my blood is like a crap magnet. It couldn’t pick up iron if it was paid to do it).

She kind of just looked at me.

No words. Just looked. And judged.

Ok. I thought. OK. Fine. Let’s try a different tack to warm you up at 8.30 in the morning.

‘Oh well.. we’re all doctors I spose’ (meaning.. you know.. everyone has an opinion about their own ailments so to speak… it’s not often you hear an old lady whinging about her sore foot without diagnosing herself with bunions etc. etc.)

‘I’m not.’ She said.

‘Well.. you know what I mean…’

‘I’m sure I don’t’ she said.

‘Oh. OK then.’

She looked at me like she couldn’t quite work out why I wasn’t melting under her death ray stare…. like I was being insolent for not vaporising on the spot.
Well you have a good day then and try not to scare anyone else I said as I backed out of the room… pressing my cotton wool to my inner arm….

 

Turning the corner.

I think what the doctor said to me the other day has touched a nerve somewhat.

He was absolutely right. I am not trying anymore. You can convince yourself you’re dieting because you were trying hard before but the basic facts are that if you were eating less and exercising more.. you would lose weight.

And.. if I’m honest with myself I’m not eating as little as I should/could be in order to see some weight come off. I am not exercising as much as I should or could be in order to see some weight come off.

So - having thought about it a lot over the last 48 hours … I have taken that on board.

No more slacking.

I’m back on to it. The Battle of the Bulge…..

Knocked Up..

ah ha!!!

Did I get ya??

I just meant we went to the cinema tonight and saw the moooooovie!

Had a great time. Bam came over to sit for the girls and we went out and ate our bodyweight in chocolate and popcorn.

Always a good way to stay motivated for the wedding dress buying. 

On that note.. kind of… have made an appointment to get my Mirena out. But not for knocking up purposes…. I didn’t mean on *that* note.. I meant on the note of fitting into wedding dresses.

I feel this hormone thingy is stopping my body from being normal. I am not being the best behaved person in the world and I’m certainly not sticking to ww 100%.

But

I am being good. Good enough to lose a 1lb a week I would have thought. And it’s not happening. So I’m getting shot of the hormonal interference and I’m going to see what happens then.

Hopefully - I’ll see some change in that …. otherwise… we’ll just be ruining our sex life for no reason!

I’ll keep you posted.

On the weight loss… not the sex life.

There’s sharing and then there’s *sharing*!!

Battle of the Bulge

The keen eyed among you may have noticed that I haven’t posted a BOTB slot this month.

It was due last Monday.

The reason being …. I have ashamedly unashamedly accidentally put on half a stone over my birthday … I had lost 22lbs … I am currently still 3lbs heavier than that.. (I have lost some already)…

So … no BOTB picture that I’m proud enough to post this month.. however.. I have started an exercise video.. Davina’s post baby exercise one… I’ve done it twice so far.

My stamina for interest in these things has a history of being rather pathetic but I keep trying to tell myself that the body I would like for my wedding depends on the effort I’m willing to put in over the next ten months…. Extra special effort required…

I would like to be a slim bride and feel good, enjoy my day.

I need to keep repeating that to myself and thinking how proud I’ll be when I walk down the aisle feeling great…

Positive positive positive…

Battle of the Bulge!!

BOTB, originally uploaded by Little Nut Tree.

Month 5…. 1st 8lbs off…. 2 more stone to go…

4 stone off since the day Ella was born… you gotta be proud of that!!

Battle of the Bulge

Battle of the Bulge, originally uploaded by Little Nut Tree.

Maybe you can all just kiss my ….

Who said a bit of VPL wasn’t sexy?!

1st 4lbs lost.

About 2 and a half stone to go… blimey when you put it like that maybe I shouldn’t be eating this chocolate

What a whirlwind weekend!

Ok — where to start…?

The weekend started off easy peasey.. I took Friday off work (under strict instructions from my boss which is weird in itself.. she thinks I’m working too hard … what kind of boss is this we ask ourselves?) .. I took Rowan to nursery in the morning and for the first time ever, got to pick her up.

The worst pick up ever as she jumped up to see me and banged her head on the fence….!

It was great to see her playing outside though with all the kids and so weird to see her with friends!!

Um… the Friday we went over to Mum & Dad’s and there ensued a weekend of fun, frivolity, drinking and Spiderman!!

Saturday the girls arrived with Merry and Max and we spent the day doing stuff I can’t even remember now… but I’m sure it was good… great to see all the girls.. I took absolutely no photos as our digital camera is still dead and we can’t afford a new one. How pants is that?!?

But I’m sure PoP has some over there..

Then Saturday night we got to go out!! I felt a bit bad as Dad bought enough food to feed an army and I always feel terrible cos I know he buys it all out of such generosity and wants everyone to have something there that they like and no one will be left out… but it never gets eaten and God forbid you’re the person that eats the thing he bought with himself in mind cos then you’re in all sorts of guilt ridden trouble… that’s a whole other story.

Anyway.. we got to go out. It was great. That’s the only trouble with having children in such quick succession is that it sucks the life out of alone time.

Our alone time is an emaciated being with no mind of its own! It doesn’t stick up for itself anymore and it very often stays in its room for weeks at a time!

This was the first time we’d been out for months and it felt really good. Actually, the last time we went out as a couple was the 3rd of March. It’s got so sad I can actually count the dates.. but then the weird thing is - it feels longer than it actually is..? Weird.

Anyway.. Spiderman 3.. how good?! I loved it. Really funny and well worth the watch I thought. It was funny and good effects and well thought out… good acting.. good sets.. characters developing and all that jazz.. an all round goody.

Better than the second I think.. and I really liked that one too in fact.

Saturday morning I also got a lie in which was excellent and really needed. I caught up a bit and managed to sleep until 10am. I know. Don’t faint.

I vaguely recall the days when I slept in till 11 or 12 every Saturday to sleep off the trials of the busy week at work. Recuperate and recharge ready for a weekend of late nights and evenings out. Loved weekends.

Loved weekends out. Loved weekends in. Just loved weekends.

Now weekends are different. They are about seeing more of the girls and seeing family so that they can see more of the girls as well. Spending time with each other where we can.. and now that both the girls are generally sleeping through the night… they are about babysitters!!

Sunday .. we went to Snibston Park in Leicestershire .. never been there before AND I have to say I absolutely loved it. I really enjoyed more than anything, playing on the adventure playground with Rowan. She absolutely loved it. She ran about like a lunatic, climbed, swung and slid.. BN and I joined in and had a go on this massive climbing frame and went down the big slide with her which she thought was just hysterical.. She was clearly pleased as punch that we’d done it with her and I really felt a boost and a tremendous closeness to her just being silly in the moment… It will be one of my best ever memories with her.

Have a look

She was travel sick as always .. seriously if anyone has any tips on how to stop kids throwing up in the car.. that would be fab

Then Sunday night.. I rather excellently looked after ALL the children while Merry and Max went out for a drink.. We all stayed up watching High School Musical and then I put all four of them to bed which involved making a magic bed for Josie, tucking everybody in twice, counselling one who missed parents and taking one back to a room to sleep on her own.

I was great and rather a proud moment as Josie and I had a little cuddle and discussed magic beds.. and poo!

So today all the girls left and we came home early afternoon to washing, naps and lots more food. I’m ashamed to say I have put on 5lbs in 4 days. Is that even possible…?!?!?

So yet another week will be about shifting the weight that I have put on over a weekend. Rather daft. I have to find my willpower again. I was doing so well but I seem to have lost the will to be good at weekends which is proving to be some what of a problem. I lose weight all week and then put it straight back on Friday to Monday .. then spend another 5 days getting rid of it all.

SO I fear that in this month’s BOTB, it will be yet another week where nothing actually changes although officially there will have been times where I was slimmer!!

Um.. this evening I will mostly be eating chocolate and drinking beer… hmmm and tonight will be the first night that we sleep as two adults alone in our room since 9th August last year.

Yes.. We have claimed back our bedroom!! Ella has moved into Rowan’s room.. so far… she may yet be back… we’ll keep you posted..

Weekend Catch up.

Just a catch up on the weekend.. we’ve had a really good time. BN and I have really connected this weekend. Not in any way in particular.. I’ve just really had a laugh and felt very relaxed.. drunk some wine and chilled out about my WW for a couple of days.

I’ve incidentally had a good weekend for weight watchers this week and as of this morning I’ve lost 2lbs since Monday morning.. which is great because that’s weight loss for two weeks in a row.. maybe the Mirena curse is lifting.. ? Hope I haven’t spoken too soon.. I have a habit of doing that!

We’ve finished the front room.. it’s looking gorgeous and brown and beige and cream and yummy and BN fixed an amazing solid oak shelf for a mantle that we bought from ebay for £40 … I didn’t think that was bad at all..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 So .. there’s that… we went shopping.. I bought a couple of new tops.. IN the NEXT SIZE DOWN!!! YAY!!

And then we’ve had super weight loss magic curry for tea two nights in a row. It really is amazing… every time I’ve eaten it, the next day - you’re like 2lbs lighter!

Every time.

It’s Magic Curry!

So… what else have we done..?

We’ve tidied out the dining room and shed belongings from the lounge. So we’re a whole lot emptier and I feel much better for it.

The house is starting to look better for it and I’m so pleased to have the lounge devoid of children’s things.

It might sound mean but I don’t intend it that way. They can have all their stuff next door… It’s just so nice to be able to sit down in our lounge and not see kids crap everywhere. All her books are on the bookshelf at the bottom where she can get them whenever she wants. And all their toys are next door in a toy box.. so it’s not that mean..

So the house is looking much better. Thanks to BN really. I have to give him his credit.

I’m off to bed soon after my lovely milky coffee… and hopefully we’ll actually get some sleep as my lovely 8 month old baby has seemingly forgotten how to sleep through the night … which is great.

In fact.. if I ever do get to sleep through the night ever again.. I’ll be quite shocked.

 

 

BOTB

BOTB, originally uploaded by Little Nut Tree.

Still using the camera phone so the picture is poor quality I’m afraid.. but here I am.. not really lost anything this month.
March to April was my month of wavering willpower due to Easter and basic crapness..

But I am back on track now and I’m being good.
I am hoping that by my birthday I’ll have lost another 18lbs.

It is hopeful.. but it’s 12 weeks till my birthday.. so even though it may be a little bit of a tall order.. I’m hoping it’s not too unrealistic.

So.. no major change this month, I know.. but there will be next month.. defo!!

The end of the weekend.. End.

Ah.. what a lovely day..

Walked and walked and walked.. down to B&Q - bought some bits and bobs to redecorate the front room..

We’re not doing anything too fancy because we can’t get rid of the plum coloured sofa… so we’re doing the walls a softer, creamierer colour and putting paper on first with quite a funky pattern on them..

I think that may sound hideous - but it’s not! It’s gorgeous!

So…. we did that - we went to Starbucks for lunch and coffee… naturally my WW diet will start .. tomorrow…

I am looking for my willpower.. I know it’s round here somewhere…

But it was a great day. I really enjoyed spending so much time with the girls and Ella is such a cutie pookie at the moment.. she’s getting so funny… laughing all the time and doing her babababa trick and trying to crawl.

Ella’s new ‘babababab’ trick.. She will make this delightful face while saying ‘babababbababa’ over and over and over again. It’s cool

 Rowan is funny too - obviously her thing at the moment is learning more and more words. All through the last few days - she’d say something new or something or funny and I kept thinking - I MUST blog that… and now I can’t remember any of them!

It was just things like she’s adding ‘didn’t I?’ on to the end of sentences and now she’s doing ‘didn’t you?’ as well..

Today in B&Q she yelled ‘DAD!!’ at BN instead of Daddy.. first time she’s ever done that.. it was very funny … and because we laughed.. I got ‘MUM!!!’ at full blast as well … it was a good moment.. she totally knew it was funny and said it a few times getting her giggles..

I messed about with her in the trolley and ran round the aisles a bit making her laugh and when we got home I painted the tester pots on the walls… Rowan looked at the dark brown one and said…

‘Mummy!! Gosh-ott!!’ (Gosh-ott is Rowan for Chocolate)

Bless her .. thinking I’m painting chocolate on the walls…. which of course I couldn’t be.. because if the last few days are anything to go by, I’d be eating any that came close enough!!

OK. Another new beginning

Oh well.

The week where I could have lost 4lbs probably has been and gone and I’ve lost nothing.

It was the week where the effects of hormonal contraception desert me - and I seem to flaunt the rules of nature, eat what I like and lose shedloads of flubber blubber.

However.. this week I may have taken that to the extreme. May.

On WW you are allowed 21 points per week.

This week… I stopped counting when I got to 75. And up until yesterday I had actually lost 2lbs!!

I would have been perfectly happy with that - only today those 2lbs seem to have now re-found me and now I’m back where I started last Monday.

And then I get that tremendously annoyed with myself feeling - that if only I had not strayed I would have now been about 4lbs lighter.

Grrr.

So - the splurge is well and truly over.

I am back on the straight and narrow.

I have still lost a stone so I’m happy with that. Very.

I do however still have at least 3 stone to go.

So, no cartwheels yet!!