A short story

Once upon a time, a lovely young couple bought a small terraced house in the middle of a city center street.

It may not have been the best house in the world and it needed a lot of work, but it was affordable.. One of its many redeeming features was it was next to a pub.

This could be a good thing or a bad thing. This couple like the quiet and the good thing about this pub was that it was shit.

This meant that there was alcohol. On tap. Next door! And…. and no. other. customers.

Nothing interfered with the beauty sleep   and we got to pop next door for beers on hot afternoons!

All was well.

Until Alex and Eve moved into the ailing pub and gave it CPR and enthusiasm repeatedly for over a year until they suddenly had a very alive, noisy pub. With lots of customers and drinking and shouting and general merry making well into the early hours of week day & weekend evenings …

Bah.

About two months ago a notice went up on the car park gates (the car park/beer garden is between our house and the pub) to say they were applying to extend their licencing hours to accommodate the ban on smoking and provide somewhere external for their customers to drink and smoke until midnight every night.

Apparently their current licencing hours allowed them to have people in the beer garden until 10pm (not something he mentioned last year on the day he agreed to have it cleared by 11pm at the weekend after our complaints about late night noise).

So anyway. We had a hearing at the council and it was decided (within the wisdom of the council ways) that they would be allowed to have people in the garden until 11pm at night and have live accoustic music from midday every day until midnight every night (except for Sundays when it’s 10pm).

We have had constant problems all summer. Loud, pissed people in the garden, intermittent raucous laughter and shouting late at night which disturbs the kids to an extent … but at some points on some evenings, such loud entertainment…  shouting shanty singers/microphoned bands etc. that we constantly have to call and complain and even had to turn our own TV up in our house because we can’t hear it over their music!

And the council agreed with them….?!?!

What is the world coming to?

All because I hadn’t complained to the environmental health and Alex downright lied in the hearing about having offered clearing the garden last year.

Bah and pah.

Grump.

hmmm..

I have another cold.

How is that possible or fair?

I feel shit and sneezy and crap and yukky. I really do have one of those colds that make you feel rubbish. I thought only men got those 

Both girls are already coughing and Rowan has the same runny nose and sneezing I had yesterday, so basically by tomorrow, they’ll be all snotty and we won’t get any sleep for the next two weeks.

If I ever say I want another baby, will someone please hit me?

Oh Bah!

What is this ability I have to predict the future? Or Whatever..

Rowan woke up in the night crying last night that she’d fallen over.

Yes.

Fallen Over.

In bed.

‘Rowan doesn’t wake up.. she sleeps through..’ blah blah blah..

Ella was awake from 2am till 3am. Rowan woke at 4. Ella woke at 5.

I’ll get my coat.

And go somewhere where children can’t read blogs!!

How annoying…

I am struggling with the hormone thing I had put in after Ella was born. It’s interfering with my Weight Watchers in a big. annoying. way.

I keep getting one week where I’m totally normal .. I follow my points and I lose weight. AND THEN three weeks of stable weight. STABLE!!

Even if I’m following the WW religiously … which I am … and those three weeks, I lose nothing and also get a very bloated feeling.. so I’m guessing it must be hormone and water retention related..

.. which quite frankly. Is just annoying.

And here’s where it screws me up.

It’s a bit of a bummer because I have a very results oriented personality.. good results spur me on and poor results demotivate me.

I can’t help it. If I hop on the scales and I’ve lost weight.. I am all hippity hoppity yip de doo and I’m fantastically behaved and continue to lose more.

After five weeks of continuous weight loss.. the first week I had a ’stable’ week.. I persevered and just thought it was a plateau and that maybe I needed to drink more water or something..

The second week… stable weight…. I thought.. ‘hang on.. what’s going on here then..?’

But still my resolve didn’t waiver and I stayed exactly on ‘points’ track.. was exquisitely behaved and did not teeter off the line at any point….

As the plateau progressed into its third week.. I thought.. ‘fuck it’ quite honestly and I seem to recall I had a big fat glass of wine.

Bollocks to it.

Then suddenly … weight dropped off me. I changed nothing but lost 4lbs in one week!

I came to the conclusion that it must be hormonal (for one, I had the obvious sign) and all seemed to be well with the world.

Until this week.

The drop off week of 4lbs was 10 days ago. This week..? I have lost nothing. I put on a 1lb this Monday and it’s now Saturday and all I’ve done is gained another lb.

So being a very results oriented person. I am now struggling to win back my resolve.

I have tried to alter this trait but I’ve found generally that if that trait really is ‘you’ then you can’t really change it with any long standing efficacy.

I can convince myself that I’m unshakable. Unbreakable resolve. Unyielding willpower. BUT when it comes down to it.. if it goes wrong and I honestly can’t see anything I’ve done that deserves the bad result… my will power starts to wain somewhat…

The result of this?

Cheesecake for pudding.

Oh dear.

ps

BN dropped our new digital camera down the stairs and now it rattles. So don’t be expectin’ new Flickr pics from me any time soon..

dearie me….

Nursery Rhymes Times

Rowan’s nursery have turned out to be a little crap.

There’s several things they’re not doing that they said they would and there’s other stuff they’re doing which I don’t think they should be….

Did I or did I not get told when we joined this nursery that they would toilet train her? Are they doing that?

ER NO!

Did I or did I not get told that they would do whatever kind of toilet training we wanted?

Is that happening …? No!

This particular nursery is putting Rowan on a potty persistently, when we have specified on at least 8 occasions that we want her to be put on the toilet.

I don’t care who you are.. that all kinds of irritating!!

Every time BN picks her up from them, he’s told how she’s gone on the potty and every time he gets told that he says that we asked for her to be put on the toilet..

‘Oh well – now we know, we can make sure that happens from now on’ *bangs head against wall*

Eeerrrrrrrrrrr.. ACTUALLY!!! We tell you that every time we leave her here and every time we pick her up!!!

Secondly – there is nits at the nursery..

Not a big deal you say.

They can’t help that you say.

I agree .. nits are unfortunate and inevitable at a nursery…

However..

How come the woman that works for me gets a letter saying that the nursery has nits and I don’t?

I don’t mind if there’s a notice on the front noticeboard .. I don’t care if they hire a plane to do sky writing.. I don’t care if they teach the kids to say it and have them pass on the message..

I don’t have to have a letter!!!

But don’t send some people letters and not others.. Inconsistency just makes me think of what else they’re not consistent about.. what else is there they’re doing for some and not for others?

Thirdly, the woman that works for me got a phone call last week to say that her daughter had been sick and needed to be collected.

When Scotty got there, her 3 year old was sat on her own, in the corner, on the floor, with dried sick around her mouth, without having had a change of clothes and without anyone looking after her.

Scotty also says that her little girl has had marks around her mouth on more than one occasion showing that she’s been drinking from something dirty…

Fourthly.. when we were shown around, one price was quoted and when we received our first bill another one was charged. Scotty says their prices have gone up and that .. yes …. you guessed it… she got a letter!!

So.. what to do..?
I’ve contacted a couple of new nurseries and we’re looking round one next week hopefully..

Do they bank on the fact that lots of people won’t remove their children because they’re either unable to because of work or because I’ll feel bad for depriving her of nursery when she loves it so much..?

But do we take her out while we look or leave her there and wait till we find something new…

Can’t decide.

Protected: friends.

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

just.too.tired.

Urgh.. too tired.

2 year old sick. Baby sick. BN sick. Me sick. All have flu.

Well OK … I’ll reduce the drama slightly.

We all have something that has resulted in two weeks of phlegmy coughs all round, tickly coughs at night, nausea and me not getting much sleep as I wander around in the middle of the night proffering drugs and drinks of water to half unconscious hacking children.

Last night was particularly bad. Ella has decided she can’t remember what 5 in the morning looks like anymore so she’s back to checking on that with a side helping of cuddle-required-in-mum’s-bed-for-half-an-hour.

Medised to wash it all down (My idea )

So all in all.

I’m shattered.

Yawn.

ps. Heard today that boss’s daughters have chicken pox. Hooray.

Let’s hope that makes its merry little way round real soon.

Bah.

Things always look better in the morning.

Last night wasn’t so bad in the end. Ella woke up and spent a lot of the evening sleeping on Big’s lap and then I fed her and medicated her about 9.30. She stayed up with us till about midnight I think. I know I got into bed about half midnight.

She managed to sleep through till 6.30 and then woke up very snotty and blocked up so we topped her up with milk and medication; the wonderful Medised of course. Rowan woke up at 8 I let her chatter for a bit while I dozed; I got her at half past and I’ve come down and left Ella and Big in bed together getting some snooze time.

Big is knackered too. He also has the cold and due to his operation on his eyes years ago, whenever he gets a cold he normally gets a really bad sinus infection too with this swollen face (it’s pretty hideous pretty uncomfortable looking bless him )

Only kidding babe x

So I’m down here with Rowan and it’s chilly and I thought I’d blog about the night so all I’ll have left to talk about later is work.

Well no..

Not exactly – I’m trying to ignore the glaring lights and warning siren that today is my last day before I’m officially back at work and am reduced to seeing my kids for about 2 hours a day 5 days a week.

It’s shit. How do people get through this?

More about me. Part one: with no work.

Why are people so shit? I hate people. I hate the fact that I trust people and I fucking hate the fact that people always seem to let you down.

I find myself constantly wondering these questions. This is not the first time this has happened to me and I’m sure it won’t be the last. But I am left with this defiance. This absolute defiance that I should be made to change the way I am just because people. are. shit.

You may want to go and get coffee… stick with me, it may get interesting. It may not though so I accept no responsibility for blogging induced boredom.

It started with my second boyfriend 13 years ago. It was an ‘ok’ relationship but I didn’t really like him like he liked me. It was OK because it was long distance and I didn’t see him more than about 2 days every 2-4 weeks depending on stuff. I realised when he got his summer break from university; he started coming over every day. I remember thinking: I don’t want to see him. I’m bored. He may have picked up on that
I was too chicken to dump him. I was fat and felt I should be grateful for the attention I suppose. It ended because he cheated on me with a girl called Gretchen. I remember laughing with a mate afterwards that maybe he just had a thing for girls with weird names.

Then my third boyfriend. Well third serious boyfriend. There were a few in between but nothing to write home about.

3 was a shit. Just a complete knobhead really – but my confidence was knocked. He was convenient. He lived in my shared house at uni and it meant I could ’see’ someone without them ever being able to get anything past me, so to speak. Of course the relationship was doomed from the very start because

a) I didn’t really like him,

b) I didn’t find him attractive and

c) he was a cock.

He cheated on me too. But I kind of accept some responsibility for that. I pushed and pushed him toward the end. Argued, picked fights and pushed until he was sick of me. Something you think is cowardly. But applaud me please. This was confidence growing. I didn’t have the confidence to reject the first one so I was getting there.
I didn’t really realise it then… but I hadn’t actually wanted to be with him after the first 12 months. We were ‘together’ for 2years and 3 months. So I had taken my time.

So …. I left this relationship with an unhealthy distrust in men. I thought, well then, they must all be shit. Where’s the fun in that? I treated all subsequent men like they were latent cheating maniacs and drove many prospective boyfs away with my attitude and scepticism that they might be the person who could keep in it their trousers.

Then I met Big. He wouldn’t go away. I’m so glad. He was the first person I saw in a long time that I wanted. I pursued him. And pursued. And pursued. He didn’t mind though and…. eventually he gave in. I say gave in, but I think actually we were pursuing each other. Then my true personality took over with wild abandon. All men are shit rah rah rah.
No they aren’t he said. And then he showed me that he wasn’t a shit.

He’s still showing me how all men aren’t shits seven years later. He’s ace.

So – since the age of about 18 I have felt that men were pretty shit (still reserve some judgement for them seeing as I have no shortage of friends who are being shit on from one week to the next). I instantly feel an emotional bind with any woman that’s been cheated on. And I love the woman that gets her own back. I never did. Not really. Except boyf number 3. His life was going pretty shit last time I heard. SO I kind of feel victory there – but that’s another story.

But ….. women. Shit women. I never learn with women.
You think I would – but I just keep going back for more.
And you know what? That’s what kills me. Women are just too damn clever and they get me every time. Even the little ones.

Oh Bum RASH!!

So…

Not having a joyful day today – Ellia is teething her second tooth and has a bottom that looks like she’s cooked it on a hob top, she’s waking up and screaming everytime she does a wee so I can’t decide whether to go to sleep and get as much sleep as possible or give up the idea of any sleep tonight and just stay up until I fall down and hope that I’m so tired I can just get through the night in a fog of half-slumber

Hey, At least I’m still smiling.

It’s been a really good day otherwise – have been to the uni with my mum to help give the tutorial I co-wrote and it was really good! I’m now toying with the idea of teaching, seriously. It was great to see all the little children (18yr olds) writing down my every word and hanging on every syllable. I mean this is what I had children for and that hasn’t worked (see earlier posts on Rowan’s penchant for the word no) so this was great!!

A bit disturbing to hear some of the questions that were asked – seeing as the subjects were on basic things such as asthma, disorders, allergies and pregnancy to name some and one of these ‘adults’ asked what Cystic Fibrosis is. I was just shocked that someone can get to that age (or thereabouts) and not know this. Not even to know that it was a disease I mean, nevermind the details of it. One also asked what an ultrasound scan was so don’t feel too sorry for them.

So, big thoughts go out to my friend Burps, desperately and patiently waiting for her first born to make an appearance.. She promotes and will happily sell these great little guys on Flickr and is well worth a visit

I’m off to bed because I’ve decided if I keep having to press delete at least three times in every word, tiredness has surely set in. Yawn. Yes there see, I’m tired

New nursery, new year, back to work..

Only a weeks and a half to go then.. Does it sound like I’m on countdown? Not too much
Got Rowan settled at her new nursery this morning, she absolutely loves it. Had made firm friends with one of the girls there and I really felt that the atmosphere was genuine and even though the majoirty of the staff are young, I didn’t feel they were there for a laugh. They all seemed to be genuinely enjoying the kids.

So, that is a weight off my mind to say the least and I’ll be perfectly happy to be leaving her there a couple of mornings a week to give Big a break at home.

And here’s the unexpected BONUS!!! They are going to toilet train FOR ME!! Woohoo!! Bargain or what? Having talked it through with them today about how far we had got and what her habits were so far, the girl there (I’ll call her V) just explained how they will help with whatever we’re doing and compliment it. I explained that I really didn’t have a clue and I was happy to take their lead seeing as they must have done it a hundred times and I’ve never done it in my life – she agreed. I supply the knickers and spare trousers, the wipes and whatever and they will train Rowan to use the toilet.

I feel as though I’ve struck gold.

Okay, well maybe not gold – but close to it.

Let’s just see if it actually works… I’m sure there must be plenty of people reading this, shaking their heads and thinking ‘wait till she learns..’ but hey, I’m full of optimism at the moment so let’s just see what happens

Next thing is I’ve joined WW to lose the baby weight. I used to be a slimming world junkie (I never paid for any of the info, I just knew people that did it and copied all the stuff) and I was very successful. I lost 6 and a half stone that way 8 years ago (I think) and kept it mostly off for a long time. It was only the pregnancies that really brought it back with avengance.

So, I’ve bought into WW (with advice from a very close friend who has just been v successful with it) and as with most things in my life at the moment, I’m online with it. It seems to be working well but I thought if you were reading this – I would actually tell you about it rather than just bragging that it seemed to be working and not really sharing in the method.

So basically – don’t eat bread, cakes, sweets chocolates … sound familiar? The point with WW is that you can eat these things but everything has a points value. It costs too many points to have it and to be honest I don’t miss that stuff that much. I do really like marmite toast I have to admit but I think I will re-introduce bread to my diet when I’ve lost a couple of stone.

All day everyday at any time you can choose from a list of free foods (any fruit or vegetable, lean meats (as long as all visible fat is removed prior to cooking and you don’t add any fat to cook), shreddies and Special K, rice cakes, skimmed milk, jacket potatoes, baked beans, tea & coffee (skimmed milk added) and loads more and then have 21 points worth of food spread over the rest of the week. I tend not to have my points, I agree with Oh The Joys on ‘On Pounds’… I don’t really don’t trust myself to count them accurately enough and I figure that I’m probably eating points somewhere along the line without actually realising it so I;m better off pretending that option doesn’t exist and just living off the free stuff.

AND it really is free. You can eat as much of it as you like (I am testament to this fact as I stuffed myself with shreddies, skimmed milk, bananas and jackets potatoes, tuna and so much more last week and lost two pounds) and still lose weight. Never be hungry again! It’s great!

I have started to live off shreddies and skimmed milk with bananas, apples and after a slow start it’s now dropping off I’m glad to say – so hopefully my post in a couple of weeks time with my photo will be a slightly trimmer image..!

So I haven’t been very posty posty..

I’m realising that I haven’t been posting the last couple of days really. The reason being that we have one computer and two people that like to be on it. A bit frustrating when you’re full of good ideas to post and nowhere to put them.

I have spent the last couple of evenings reading blogs instead of writing much as well and as well as Snay’s there are a couple of others that are worth visiting. Girl in her Underwear and Oh, The Joys gave me a giggle last night.

ahem.

I should also get out more, maybe.

A round up of 2006.

Saddam Hussein.
Everywhere (literally everywhere that I’ve been cos that’s not been very far over the last two weeks) I’ve heard people (family) talking about it and arguing .. sorry debating… over what was right or wrong…
I heard someone say yesterday that they thought the execution of Saddam was wrong because when Saddam killed all the people he did – he really thought he was doin the right thing….Oh well if he really thought he was then I guess..

Anyway.. 2006 was a pretty good year for me. We were thrilled to welcome a second daughter Ella, into the family if actually a little shocked to find out she was on the way at the end of ‘05. It wasn’t particularly planned or unplanned which (for me anyway is the best way I spose) but we did find out 24hrs after making the decision putting babies on the backburner till ‘07 so .. I spent the 1st 36-48hrs repeating ‘I don’t believe it’ and ‘how did this happen?’ But hey, she’s here now and we love her and we’re happy If a little sleep deprived.

……. she was awake till half midnight last night (not usual anymore) and when we finally got to bed at 2ish, Big was so tired that I retired to the spare bed next to Rowan only to be kept awake by her snoring until she woke at 4am and played till 5.30am!! I was awake merely 2ft away pinned by the anxiety that if she heard or saw me (or so much as became slightly aware of my presence in any way) that I would then struggle to get her back to sleep at all and then I really *would* be doomed to insomnia for the rest of the night and I really was shattered.

We never spend the night apart and I mistakenly thought that he and I would sleep better in different rooms. WHAT an error. When I finally decided I had to move (having had my fill of hearing Rowan and her Dora the Explorer doll play round and round the garden) Rowan immediately jumped up and said ‘.. ‘ello mummy’ I settled her back down and practically galloped back to safety only to be woken at 7 for a baby feed. She then didn’t actually surface till 9am! I had gotten up at 8 with Rowan.

So.. I’m knackered and I’m not really sure why I’m not in bed

So anyway I digress – 2006 – another baby. We’re both pretty sure there won’t be another so 2007 will be all about finding a niche for BN to start a career for himself and create some extra income for us. I know he’s desperate to be out and about and I don’t begrudge him that. Two years at home looking after children isn’t exactly what he had in mind bless him. His turn now I think.

Work is good – earnt well last year but it won’t be as good this year as I only earn on growth yr on yr so it’ll be lots of hard work without personal financial gain. There’s no doubt that the turnover suffers without me there to chivvy so hopefully it’ll be working toward a profitable 2008 for us. 2006 was another bad year for my crap attempt at managing our money. 2007 is going to be all about me putting some distance between us and the credit cards. It’s time to take proper control and stop moving debt from pillar to post trying to avoid the reality which is that we’re in a mess.

I’m going to lose all the baby weight – I’ve done it before so I can do it again – and hopefully find a way to afford the wedding that we have booked for August. It may not happen – I think I’m starting to admit that to myself but I’ll work hard trying to make it happen until I absolutely have to admit defeat.

I am going to be more organised and get things done and I think that this year we should make a concerted effort to finish our house so we’re ready to move on (if we can ever afford it ) I really feel that I spend to much time not accomplishing much of anything. I will get BN sorted with cash to get his driving license this year (I would say mine but it really would be a TOTAL lie. I don’t want to drive and never have. I will get round to it when I absolutely have to but I really don’t want to so maybe next year.. just thinking about it makes me shiver.

I’m going to be less insecure and learn to appreciate what I’ve got hopefully. Sort my shit out and stop moaning about being too fat/poor and bored at work. Maybe I will actually get off my backside and move on to pastures new and get a new job.

Merry. The last thing is my sister. She has had a hard year this year and I couldn’t be there for her really. Her choice. I desperately wanted to be. I have learnt a lot about her this year and only due to her blog which is just sad. I have always thought I have known her – and of course I do to some extent – but this year I am going to stop thinking that I know her and I am going to spend proper time with her and I am going to get to know her. And hopefully she will get to know me. So get a comfy mattress on the spare bed

She got me thinking that this is a really good way of getting your thoughts down on paper. I’m finding it shockingly easy to be very honest about me and more me. Easier – much easier than I ever thought. I don’t find it easy to share which I know would shock people that think they know me. I find it easy to talk, yes, but I’d much rather listen than share. I find it odd really. I can talk to BN easily but sometimes he isn’t the world’s greatest talker (he’d readily admit that) and I am guilty of utter ramblings from time to time that I’m conscious may er.. no probably bore him – I can shoot the breeze until I’m hoarse but I don’t always share what I should or what I’m sure I could and subsequently bottle a lot.

So at the end of this year I’ll be telling you how pleased I am that I have a friend in my sister and more than a family oriented obliging to be communicative which is I think how we feel sometimes. I have made a conscious decision that 2007 will be the year I get to know my sister. Properly. And I think that’s the first real resolution that I have ever made.

x

weird day…

So I practically watched someone killed today on nearly every channel that exists on television. Saddam Hussein – killed today.. I don’t know what my thoughts are on this except that it can’t really be a bad thing that he’s dead, I understand why it had to be filmed but I kind of feel weird for watching it.

Did I watch it because I wanted to know if I definitely believed he was dead or did I watch it because I WANTED to see someone hanged..? I don’t mean in a psycho way but you know the curiosity that’s there when you know there’s something you want to look at but you don’t want to see anything that you wish you hadn’t. I can’t explain any more than that really.

Anyway – do I feel better for watching it… no. Do I wish he had been spared.. no not really. For a guy that caused the death of thousands of people, I don’t wish he was still alive, I perhaps just wish they hadn’t felt the need to kill him. Is it just me or did life in a cell till you die seem worse than being put to death..?

Look at me being all topical. The final thing I think is really weird is that our kids will learn about today in history lessons 15yrs from now. Eek. I can remember thinking that it was weird that anyone could have been alive in the 1stWW – and how laborious to have to learn the dates of things. They’re gonna be like ‘we have to learn the date Saddam was killed. Who was Saddam?’ Strange