joke

A blonde teacher is on her first day at a new school and wanders out on to the playing field during her lunch break. she sees loads of boys running around, playing and having a great time but spots one boy all on his own, with no-one to talk to.

She feels sorry for him and walks over.

‘You don’t want to be on your own while everyone else is having so much fun. Why don’t you run up to the other end of the field and join them?’

The boy
replies …

‘Because I am the goalkeeper.’

And the moral of the story is….

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129

It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

And the moral of the story is…

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you £800 to drop that towel, “

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”

“It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.

“Great,” the husband says, “did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Morning Sex

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said,
You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.’
His eyes lit up and he thought,

‘This is my lucky day.’
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her
And then gave it his all;
Right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said,

‘Thanks,’
And returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked,

‘What was that all about?’
She explained,
‘The egg timer’s broken.’

Joke

How do you know policeman are strong?

Random Joke Saturday

A man goes to the doctor and asks for a penis extension.

The doctor suggests a baby elephants trunk stitched on for £3000.

The man thinks this is a great deal and quickly agrees. The surgery is booked, goes ahead and is completed with no complications.

The doctor advises that he goes home to rest and leaves it a few weeks before trying anything adventurous with his new ‘length’.

6 weeks later he is out to dinner with a new lady friend and feels an unusual stirring in his lower regions…

‘Finally’ he thinks ‘this is the night’…

Excited by the prospect of some action with his new toy he’s stunned when - while chatting over dinner - his penis flies out, steals a bun off the table and whips back into his trousers..

‘Wow!!!’ exclaims the woman ‘that’s an amazing trick! Can you do it again?’

A little stunned, he replies..
‘I think my cock could but I don’t know if my arse could take another bun!!’

Boom boom!!

Made me laugh! And that’s enough for me