What to say what to say…..

Been an interesting day today. Can’t say much about it cos it’s work but suffice to add that it’s been a piss poor day for some people.. but at least they should get a good pay off option…

The girls are getting better, hopefully that bug is no more. Ella is still ever so slightly coughing and snuffly but nothing she can’t handle really. She’s now just got her incredibly bad bum rash again … she screamed and screamed at the weekend when I was changing her nappy.. I feel so bad for her. You have to talk to her and reassure her the whole time you’re cleaning her up so she won’t go into meltdown and then quickly pick her up as soon as you’ve finished so that she knows you’re not trying to torture her.. teething. It’s just not fun.

And speaking of screaming… what on earth is that channel 4 programme all about..?!?! Leave a baby in the garden for 3 hours whilst you sit inside and drink tea?? Get them sleeping through the night at 2 weeks by depriving them of food in the day so they are starving at nighttime and therefore sleep longer!??!

I KNOW!!!!!!! Babies, right, they are dead inconvenient, yeah? So what you should do if you accidentally get one is treat it like shit and make it unhappy and leave it to cry when it needs you because basically, right, the most important thing is that you get your social life, your sex life and your sleep back..
Stuff the baby… just ignore it! If they’re crying they’re just trying to manipulate you into giving them affection. Those damn newborn babies they’re so Machiavellian… fancy wanting warmth and tenderness?!What are you? A .. baby… ah-yes.. you are…. oh… you ARE! hmmmm just hang on a sec while I check my manual…..

God! Makes me angry. Send that woman back to the 1950s if that’s when it was so popular

I was kind of prepared for interrupted sleep when I had babies. I did kind of look into it beforehand AND I seem to recall reading somewhere once that when you have kids they do tend to need food when they need it…. I think they do grow out of it though… right?

Rant over…

Honestly…? No.

You know.. I honestly can’t think of anything to say tonight.

It’s been a busy day. Not particularly hard but not particularly easy. I feel quite flat at the moment about work. Not so much dread but just a flat, uneasy feeling about it.

I have to go to my major contract tomorrow morning and let them know that Dippy has left. That won’t go down well I know as she was well liked. There’s a weird feeling at work as two of the girls (my favourite two TBH) have moved upstairs to the new offices. Curly and Snippy. I can’t change her name now .. but she really isn’t snippy.

It’s not the same downstairs without them. They are good fun. Grounding and sensible but effortlessly funny to boot and it’s not been the same without them today.

Just felt like they weren’t there.

So. Work. Yeah. Bit.. a bit.. a bit just nothing really.

I think I’m approaching the brink of my interest in the industry. Understandable maybe when you’ve been doing it for a few years? I think that staff leaving always leaves me feeling a little low as ultimately there’s a feeling of rejection even if you know it is stuff out of your control, she basically left because of me. That’s not a nice feeling whichever way you slice it.

I have a lad working for me now, Gymbo. He’s OK but a bit full of himself. His role has changed since he’s been seconded to me and I see that he’s not totally OK with that today. He also text Mumsy and said he wanted to talk to her about his role at the branch. So now I have to talk to him tomorrow and TBH.. I just can’t be arsed.

I know I have to .. but I’m kind of sick of holding everyones’ hand through their daily life.

It’s a bit YAWN. And it seems to be to me.. that people are never happy anyway so what’s the fucking point in trying?

Oh God. I’ve just read that through. How much self pity here?

I’m off to bed before I bore myself too.

And if that’s not enough.. I put on 3lbs over the weekend enjoying myself and have to go through all of that particular 3lbs again. 2 weeks to take off. 3 days to put on.

Life would be much fairer if that was the other way round. 

Argh Pants Pants Pants

Well.

Where do I start?!?!

We moved Ella into Rowan’s room on Monday and that has lasted all of two nights because .. as if there is some entity of infection looking down on us.. the girls have immediately come down with a cough and cold.

Ella has, true to form, instantaneously got a chesty cough and will undoubtedly end up on antibiotics soon enough. She’s having trouble clearing anything out nestling between her nostrils and her brain.. due to babies’ lack of ability to blow their own nose.

Rather large oversight on human development’s part if you ask me.

Babies should really learn how to do this before, say, crawling. Which is infinitely less useful and a hell of a lot more tiresome than learning how to blow ones nose. Particularly seeing as a crawling child is never where you left them, not blowing their nose per se, but smearing bogies on whatever they can get their hands on. Say.. your white curtains.

Anyway. I spent far too large a portion of last night walking backward and forwards to their room collecting Ella and trying to get her back to sleep (without waking up Rowan) and quite frankly I am FAR too tired to even contemplate doing that again tonight.

So, she’s back in our room. And coughing.

Hurrah

American Idol

You know I was watching American Idol gives back, the other night. I don’t actually watch American Idol.. I used to really love these programs but after about the 500th one I did get a little bored.

There was Pop Idol, Pop Stars the Rivals then the arrival of the X Factor… then Simon Cowell realised he could make even more money by doing exactly the same thing in America.

Of Course.. Who wouldn’t? Who would settle for 100 Million when they could have 150?

But the other night I was watching the American Idol Gives Back and although I’m a sucker for programs to do with charity for children … this particular one did strike me as particularly grim.

What could be more galling than a load of kids (American or otherwise) that are steps away from their superfluous dreams come true where they stand to make money beyond their wildest ideas and have fame and fortune to boot.. interspersed with orphaned children in Africa, fending for themselves and bringing each other up as they try and attend school and work simultaneously .. where probably their wildest dream come true is not to die of infection, disease or crime any time before their 15th birthday?

It was just grim.

Grim.

After 5 minutes.. I had to switch channels … I was almost in tears (no shock there!) … A poor young lad.. orphaned at 12 and having to bring up his 8 year old sister since his mum and dad were killed … but hey… at least ‘Tiffany’ / ‘Madonna’ / ‘Jessica Simpson’ wannabe is safe and gets to sing for another week!!!

Gross.

Sorry. But gross.

Protected: Less like a period… more like a comma! The password is ‘personal’ but I warn you – Aunt Flo has come to stay!

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It’s been a trying day..

Ella was up all through the night, but really. Up. all. through. the. night. We’re shattered. I can see the edge of the second tooth now though which is something. So fingers crossed we’re getting to the end of it now.
She is worse now than with the first one but she has a cold on top of it so she’s coughing and spluttering everywhere which is obviously upsetting for her. When they sniff by accident I always feel sorry for them when you can see them struggling for breath and fighting with phlegm! Niiiiice

Anyway – we started the day knackered. I think we finally got to bed about 12.30, I think I dropped off about 1.30 (not like me but I kept drifting back to being awake) and woke up with Ella crying at 2.45. We were like – Great. If I just keep my eyes shut maybe she’ll give up and go back to sleep …….. but no. Babies don’t do that generally. She already has it sussed that I start back work in one day and could do with some extra rest so she’s decided to wake up as much as possible just to give me that harrassed mum look I so dearly love.

She fed then and had some Medised (marvellous stuff and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise! Anything that drugs the buggers and knocks them unconscious aids restful sleep is fine by me. Plus it helps de-congest so it’s all good for her at the moment.

Did it work though?

No.

She woke up every 45minutes-ish for the rest of the night and then slept from about 5.30 till 7. Rowan woke up at ten past 7. We were not amused. It’s great that Rowan goes to bed that bit earlier these days and we get more of an evening but the downside obviously is that she still only needs about 12 hours (compare to our need for about 15) and therefore wakes up earlier. And yes. I know there are people out there with 2yr olds that don’t even sleep that long/at all but you know, it’s all relative.

I’m acutely aware from the very onset of the day that Rowan is probably gonna get the brunt of tiredness from both of us. All day. I do try and curb the tiredness and generally speaking once I’ve had a shower and am dressed I do feel better and although a bit crotchety, all things considered I’m not so bad.

Rowan however, seems also to have a radar regarding anything even slightly parentally skewed and her censors go off loud and clear this morning followed by the most provoking she can be. Practically all day. No to this, no to that. Sitting down when you ask her to stand up, ignoring you when you speak to her, objecting to food given to her, playing with her dinner (albeit a quite attractively playful dinner of stir fry and wibbly egg noodles – I can see why she found it hard to resist; they made great bracelets) and so on and so on.

It’s now me and Big, sat on the sofa, watching the Exorcism of Emily Rose (eye half on it, half blogging) and we’re shattered. We’re not saying much and Big has been quite short tempered all day as well. He doesn’t work well under tired conditions. I can just about keep it going with the occasional loud blip of temper if Rowan is being particularly trying. Big is generally more of an even-keel-grumpy… and stays that way until he can’t see any children. All I can say is, thank goodness we had kids that sleep (most of the time).

Ella hasn’t settled particularly well and is a bit whiney up there but I’m hoping she’ll stay asleep for the 10pm top-up and I can retreat to bed as soon as physically possible.
(The likelihood of me reviewing this film is low low low)

One day to go. Still finding it hard to talk about it and now finding it difficult to even think about it without getting that horrible tangy feeling behind the eyes that you know is a prelude to tears if you’re not careful. I don’t want to spend the last day crying so I’m trying. very. hard.

(It does help when one of said children then wakes up crying .. )

Grrrrrr…. Leave me alone!!

You know what? Sod off all people in supermarkets/clothes stores/post offices/town centres who think they have any right whatsoever to comment on the upbringing of my children!

I never learn to just say what I want back right there in the moment so: If I want to discipline them harshly for some things then I will and if I feel like letting my daughter get away with a bit of cheekiness or naughtiness then I will!! It is not ‘making a rod for my own back’ thank you very much! Nor is it any of your business!

I don’t want to hear your tuts or see you shake your head if she cries cos she can’t have a packet of buttons – nor do I want to see your knowing nods of ‘rod-making’ if I decide that she *can* have some just because she says she’s hungry.

Wind your neck in and go and get on with your own knitting!!