A little red in the face

It’s been a long day … although really not much has actually happened.

Occurred I mean… as in anything monumentous [is that actually a word??] or substantial….

We booked and paid the deposit on our honeymoon. We are going to Egypt.

That in itself is amazing to be honest.

I can’t believe we’re actually going abroad. It feels odd. I know we don’t endure much hardship comparatively speaking to others in the globe… and I do feel bad [really I do] when I look around the world… the news and see how much poverty, fighting and desperation there is… but then I take a look at what we accomplish on a daily basis and you know what? We do OK.

We live on a single income, manage two young children [who if I do say so myself are pretty gorgeous and well behaved], we keep a house, pay bills, stay clean and tidy [relatively speaking], work long hours and we never, ever have a holiday.

God. A holiday - we never even have a break.

So… I must confess… a holiday this year is going to be fan-tastic.

Not to mention [obviously not to forget] it’s my honeymoon. Which is scaring the life out of me even better

We walked round town a little … Rowan was a grown up and we had lunch out…

One of those days where it seemed to go on forever … but not for any reason… good or bad.

I had a bizarre allergic reaction to a face mask I used this morning… I was brushing my teeth after a short soak in the bath and I’d been wearing Organic’s 7th Heaven Fruit Pulp Mask and I noticed this red mark on my shoulder…

I sometimes go blotchy in the shower - I dunno why but hot water seems to make my face blotchy sometimes… I’ve never seen it on my shoulder but about a millisecond’s surmising amounted to ‘I’m blotchy from the shower’…

Then I realised that my face looked like a tomato. The only way to show you really is my photographing the side of my face - this is because - I was tomato to a point. Wherever the mask had been… I was blushed. You can see the marks are like a sun-tan round sunglasses… it’was most odd.

I had no itching, no soreness…… no indication that there was anything wrong while I was wearing it …… but my skin definitely did not like that one.
I’ve used these masks loads of times… I have probably used this one before although I don’t remember it specifically…. but obviously I won’t be trying this one again….

So I went about my day somewhat ‘conscious’ of my face…. which was nice…

p.s. BN’s artwork in the background there… everything’s for sale folks

Battle of the Bulge - update

Things are going well.. I’m back on track a little…. definitely eating better and generally  making better choices over the last year and more importantly over the last 2 weeks.

A good tip for anyone doing weight watchers.. I’ve been very happy on the core plan for a while and have lost over 2 stone…. but things had gone stagnant and  my eating habits… although on the whole good were just not as good as they could be.

I think the thing for me is defo portion control. I don’t eat badly really - I know I don’t. My problem is I eat too much.

I don’t eat potato - I eat 2 portions of potatoes. And while this works for a while because you’re following the points system on the core plan, I think eventually if you’re eating too much (whether you’re following the plan or not) basically … you’re just eating too much.

So - I swapped to the points plan. I’m enjoying it. It’s renewed my enthusiasm and I’ve lost about 5lbs in 10 days. So I feel back in the swing of it.

The only snag is that my wedding dress shop warned me not to lose too much weight as I’ve ordered the right size for me now and that dropping shed loads would

a) cause me to spend loads in alteration costs and

b) change the shape of the dress around my top half if too much had to be altered…

I can’t drop far below the size 14 version without risking making my dress look ‘altered’

So as far as I can see it - that’s a damn fine reason to drink this beer next to me here

Honeymoon!!

Well - we’ve picked the honeymoon… Egypt…

I’m very excited

We fly out with Egpyt Airlines on the 12th to Cairo. We’re spending 3 nights there, followed by 4 nights in Luxor followed by 7 nights in Sharm el Sheikh.

If anyone has been there before then please feel free to give me travel tips!!!

Weekend stuff…

It’s been a really lovely weekend.

We haven’t really done anything so much except potter about.

I’ve cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom like I usually do on a Sunday… done a coupla bits… bought mother’s day card and pressie… (unknowingly intelligently I have opted to visit my folks on Mothering Sunday, meaning I have to buy a present can take the present with me)… this is a load off my mind as you can tell…  

We took the girls out for shopping yesterday and had lunch in a little cafe where utterly abnormally, they were a joy and a delight to be around. We found a little place with cheap cafe food in a slightly more faux-upmarket decor … if that makes sense..?!

The result though, was a really nice lunch and the girls were an absolute pleasure to be with.

We didn’t do much of anything else yesterday I don’t think…. (not sure why I struggle to remember yesterday…. Surely a sign of over working myself)

We organised some wedding stuff… getting measured for the suits and stuff, I picked my bridesmaids dresses all that kind of stuff..

Typical ‘weekend stuff’ stuff

Then today - we had a pretty lazy day again. We got up late… thanks to the girls playing in their room for a while this morning… we had a late breakfast… and went to the park, fed the ducks… had a run about…

[....Is it just me or does Ella suddenly look like a child and not a baby?! She's enormous ... and... today was our first ever trip out without the pushchair... (actually it's the second but first sounds better!!)]

There has been moments today when they’ve been a little hmmm…. how to put it….? Testing? Rowan is testing the theory of bad moods and possible causes at the moment…. for example … today she was absolutely fine in the park and then was suddenly … foul.

Her explanation?

The sun got in her eyes and that made her grumpy.

But.. hey. I can see it for what it is. She’s just not sure what the rules are for this type of thing. She has no idea what constitutes a good reason for a bad mood. For all I know she listens to my reasons sometimes and thinks I’m an absolute fruitloop!

So… we came back and collapsed unconscious on the sofa for 40minutes whilst the girls went brain dead to Peppa Pig DVD (gotta love it) and then put Ella down for a nap.

Rowan and I made biscuits …

(out of a ready to bake kit from M&S - really recommend it I have to say … the biscuits were really nice and it was dead easy) and we attempted to watch a movie together… we picked Cinderella Twist in Time (Xmas present from Grampty) … 5 minutes after this photo,

she wanted it turned off because it was boring!!

Then she specifically requested this movie (5 points if you can guess it from the still) and paid attention to it for approximately 9 minutes before she wandered off. Not quite time for the cinema yet then.

She is funny.

But one thing for sure….. she is gorgeous.

Day Off!!!!!!

Yes it’s true - don’t faint or adjust your monitors… I have taken a day off work.

Today is my final wedding dress appointment to choose the final final one, get measured and choose a size. Potentially order it as well although I do have a slight dilemma.

I have found the same dress online for about £80 cheaper. And although that doesn’t sound like a load of money - it could mean the difference in ours as everything is costed down to the penny.

I am going to see if I can get the guts to ask the shop to lower their price slightly. They own the shop so I’m thinking it’s their choice.

I really like them and I really want to give them the sale… but £80 is £80 right?

Right?

Sadly…

I found out a couple of days ago that two of my married friends have split up.

I found out on Friday and for a few reasons, I can’t really stop thinking about it.

It could be because they are perhaps the first people I really I knew to make the commitment to marriage… they seemed so in love and really the last people I would have thought to split up. I haven’t been the only one to say ‘A & B????? No way!!!!’

It could be because A told me the spark just went. It wasn’t the same and he just couldn’t carry on pretending he felt the same…. if it can happen to them… then who else could that happen to?

It could be because I really care about them.. I do really care about people…

It could be because they’re the first people I’ve known my age that have married and it’s gone wrong…

It could be because I’m planning my own wedding and I suppose it’s just a confirmation of the fact that maybe nothing is forever. You may want it to be and you place that belief in what you’re planning. There’s a reason for all this…. you want to be with this person for the rest of your life…. I guess I just never imagined A having to introduce himself as divorced. Mind you… presumably neither did he…

And poor B. I spoke to her as soon as I found out … said all the right things…… and meant them….. She says she’s getting there but every day is hard as it was very much out of the blue for her.

I just thought… wow… she didn’t even have a clue he was going to do it…. and I so felt for her.

I dunno… mindless wanderings of my brain…. it’s left me quite down.

I guess (in the words of Carrie Fisher from When Harry met Sally)

‘Please tell me I’ll never be out there again….’ and all you need after that is a big cuddle and a kiss

Lovely weekend.

So it’s been a lovely weekend. Really lovely.

Sarah, Steve and the girls came to visit for the weekend so that Sarah and I could go wedding dress shopping again and they arrived Friday evening. Now they’ve done the journey once, they got here much quicker than last time .. I think they were here for 8.30. Which isn’t bad considering Steve has to get home from work which takes him about an hour and then drive to Lincoln from Bury. Not bad at all.

Friday evening we put her girls to bed, we had a relaxed meal and then assembled all the wedding favours which arrived this week. They look great! And then… stayed up talking about all sorts until about 1am.

We had one of the worst nights with the kids. Ella just woke all through the night which was rather annoying and after going backwards and forwards she was basically awake from about 5.30am. And therefore… so was I.

FAB.

I think she is still just cutting these last four teeth.. or rather they have cut already but they’re pushing through. Because they’re the last ones, maybe there’s something like ’settling in pain’. I know when I had my bridge fitted there was a certain amount of jaw ache for a few days … and that was just one tooth fitting in… never mind the growing pain.

I’m very forgiving really. Just not at 5.30am when I didn’t go to bed till 1.

Anyway. We had a nice morning - everyone getting ready and got out of the house with the aim of getting Ella some new shoes (found out that while she’s wearing hand me downs size 5s she’s actually…. a 6 and a half.. ) So she’ll be happier now hopefully!!

We went for lunch. Possibly one of the most surreal experiences I’ve ever had. I’m not even exaggerating. We went to a restaurant called Touch in Lincoln. Never been there before. Never will I go there again. It’s hard to explain exactly what the problem was… really.

One of the most surreal venues ever… we’re all laughing cos we’re not sure what else to do…..

The waiter was ‘post-Friday-night slow mentally inhibited’ and just kind of wandered around aimlessly, tipped one of our drinks over the table when he delivered it… mooched about and generally was more of a statue than a waiter. He was incapable of even genial conversation (which we were all quite happy to try). The food was…. ‘okay’. Buffet style lunch with a variety of things to choose from but when you got there it was basically school dinners quality.

And not the best school dinners either. Pizza… cottage pie and pasta with a couple of curries to choose from & the obligatory chips. We tried to find somewhere that would be kid friendly in terms of menu choice and in the end just found somewhere that was … um…. satisfactory.

My kids with their impeccable table manners!

We did have a good time though… luckily we’re all light humoured and went with the flow…. the waiter was kind of like free entertainment

Then we got rid of the blokes and the kids and we went shopping for dresses, shoes and stuff

Got Sarah’s wedding jewelry from Next - really love them - it’s like a diamante encrusted silver heart pendant with matching earrings. Really suits her and looks very simple and elegant. Got my shoes, stain, ivory, gathered peep toe heels that will look perfect and are very comfortable (found them in Barrett’s) and found some chocolate brown satin heels for Sarah from Dolcis that match her dress amazingly. And have come in under budget for those brilliantly which means I’ve saved money as I’ve spent!

Sarah had spotted some excellent bridesmaids dresses for the little ones in Next and I think they look great in the catalogue - so we’re just going to order one so we can have a look at the quality etc. I think they should be fine being from Next and the bargain is… they’re only half the price of what I expected to spend… another bonus!! The dresses for the older three are going to be from Monsoon but they’re not online yet cos it’s their new collection so I can’t show you them..

We sorted my head wear for the day.. almost got my dress sorted and that should come in on budget… we’ve picked out the stationery, just got to order it and that’ll be here in a couple of weeks, had the banns read last week so to speak (we’re actually having a civil ceremony so it’s more of a legal announcement from the registry office) so it’s all coming together!

Feels very real.

This is Sarah. She’ll kill me for posting this photo cos she looks like a muppet but we had to take a photo cos she couldn’t believe that she fit into the dress. She text me on the way here on Friday saying don’t worry when you see me cos it’s just Christmas bulge. I’ll get rid of it and make sure that dress fits! When we bought it she was about 2 inches away from doing it up round the waist and we knew she had to lose a few lbs to get into it but it was discontinued and the only one left was in her size. She’s done so well.

She looks beautiful.

I think she was mid sentence for this picture though … the lighting in my bedroom caused a delay in the click & when the camera went… she looked like this … but hey - it’s the thought that counts.

The thing that’s annoying is - I have loads of pictures of me in the dresses I’m narrowed down to but I can’t post them because BN reads the blog and Flickr!

Nightmare!!

oh…. blurgh

Hi.

I am just absent of topic.

Does that make sense?

I could just sit here and blurb and potentially (probably) bore you senseless.

But I think

Tonight..

I will actually (probably) just go…

And get something to snack on.

Bye

oh ps. Wedding dress fitting this weekend… will keep you posted (pun intended)

08/12/2007 Battle of the Bulge.

08/12/2007, originally uploaded by Little Nut Tree.

Battle of the Bulge… I am getting there… slowly but surely… I spent the middle of the year lost a bit… happy with a stone lost and a bit content. Then I got this raging viral gastroenteritis thing that’s going round - lost 7 lbs in one weekend and it seems to have spurred me on a bit… keep thinking of that dress fitting in February…

I keep visualising what I would like to see on the scales next Monday… a WW tip that seems to be working for me…

ps - don’t you just love my slippers!?!?! £8 FROM TESCO!!!! I love them… The phrase ‘my feet are too warm’ just does not exist in my life…

LOVE SLIPPERS!!!

**Edit - oh yes… and these are my new size 16 jeans I’m wearing thank you very much!!

Moving on..

Then there was wedding stuff…

The week ended with a manager’s meeting in Rotherham… a rushed journey home and a dash to catch a train to the folks this weekend.

We were meeting Sarah there (of brown dress maid of honour fame) in order to visit our venue on the wedding fayre thingy they were holding for people booked in next year.

We had a great weekend. Mum and Dad babysat last night and we went out drinking. I mean really went out … like I haven’t been out for months and months. We drank … LOADS! and stayed out till 1am (ooh the daredevil I am I know) and ate bad greasy food at the end of the night and collapsed into bed at 2 in the morning.

It was great! Loved it loved it loved it!

The girls were great and didn’t wake up till 6.50am… can’t believe they woke up before 7am! Damn the children!! 

We then went to Coombe Abbey this afternoon and looked around the fayre and had a laugh and a giggle at the all the weirdly dressed medieval people

(You can have a medieval themed wedding there.. stressing the *can* as this is not a direction we will be taking!)

It was really good to see it all set out like we will have it and I can’t wait for the big day now!

The best thing of all?! The best friend ever has offered to have the girls for 2 weeks after the wedding so we can have a honeymoon!!!!

WOW!!

I just never thought I would get a honeymoon like everyone else because I suppose you just accept that when you have kids, they come first and that there’s no way we would be able to leave them anywhere for that length of time… but she has offered … and maintained that offer post alcohol!

Her husband has confirmed this morning that he thinks she’s brave for offering but doesn’t object… so we’re on!

Time to start looking at brochures!!

Took a couple of photos today… so here is the front view of the venue… bearing in mind, it’s winter and it’s cold and dreary… I think it looks way better than this in the summer!

Front View - Coombe Abbey

Fountain in the main entrance area.. we can have photos taken here on the day.

So… that’s it really. Have still worked all weekend as still have this big contract going on that would be worth a lot of money for me next year… and that’s been a bit of a bind to be honest as I kind of just wanted a weekend off but it is important and means a lot for the future of my business next year. Not to mention BONUS!

I have got some photos of the table decoration but I think I’ll keep some things secret so you can all be wowed next year when I post the pictures!

Turning the corner.

I think what the doctor said to me the other day has touched a nerve somewhat.

He was absolutely right. I am not trying anymore. You can convince yourself you’re dieting because you were trying hard before but the basic facts are that if you were eating less and exercising more.. you would lose weight.

And.. if I’m honest with myself I’m not eating as little as I should/could be in order to see some weight come off. I am not exercising as much as I should or could be in order to see some weight come off.

So - having thought about it a lot over the last 48 hours … I have taken that on board.

No more slacking.

I’m back on to it. The Battle of the Bulge…..

Oh it’s all gone a bit Pete Tong

Rowan is ill.

Another ear infection. This darn child just procures infection as if from nowhere and then spends a week vomiting.

We are just up and down the stairs dealing with vomit and my wardrobe is steadily congregating in the laundry bin with ‘vomit shoulder’

She is very prone to ear infections and unfortunately she just gets sick to her stomach with everything.

It has been an eventful few days. Made all the more interesting by the fact that I haven’t slept properly or deeply in any way shape or form since Rowan became ill a couple of days ago.

Wednesday I had a minor car accident. Kind of shit me up though. I ordered a cab for work as I had a meeting at 6.45am. I didn’t fancy walking cos it’s cold! The cab arrived at twenty past six and I kept it waiting for ten minutes. I was desperately trying to get ready quietly so as not to wake the girls and I just find that makes you all the more slower.

Also - it could just be me but I think I get ready slower, when it’s colder? It’s like the winter sets in, it’s chillier in the morning - it’s unpleasant to be naked and getting out of the warm shower is enough to make you not want to… and for some reason it seems to take me an extra ten minutes to do the exact same things that have taken me ten minutes less all through the summer!? Why is that? It’s cold! Get ready quicker!

Anyway. I digress.

I kept the cab waiting and finally crept out of the door at 6.30am. Got into the taxi and put my hands under my legs to warm up. (We don’t have central heating. I guess that’s a fairly important point when I’m complaining relentlessly about the cold). The taxi was one of those big minibus type things and as we got to the bottom of our street I decided that I felt quite high up and reached round and buckled in. Literally 10 or 15 seconds later we were in a crash. A car smacked into us at about 30, we were doing about 10mph.

I got thrown forward and bashed my knees against the dashboard. I’ve jarred my hip and I have a stiff neck. But that’s it.

It does certainly make you think though. It just shows you how easily your day could take a turn for the worse.

Anyway. I had a doctors appointment for yesterday evening to have my Mirena removed and basically that didn’t happen. When I got there ‘the correct appointment hadn’t been made’ and he couldn’t do it because there was no nurse available etc etc blah blah blah.

Anyway… Dr was clearly an advocate of the Mirena and basically tried to talk me out of any reason I had for having it removed. It’s impossible for it to be causing the spots/weight issue/cyclical period feelings. He was quite disparaging and generally poo pooed my objections pretty much making out that it’s all in my head.

He also dared to suggest that the reason I wasn’t losing any more weight was because I was convincing myself that I was dieting but that really I wasn’t doing what I thought I was doing.

He said ‘ there’s only two ways to lose weight, eat less or exercise more and you may think you’re doing that but if you’re not losing weight then you can’t be doing either’

How very dare you!!

It may have touched a nerve.

It’s quite easy to convince yourself that you’re trying your hardest just because I lost 20lbs 4 months 6 months ago but emabrrassingly he’s totally right.

I have completely gone off the boil with this weight loss and I’ve lost my willpower and my purpose.

I could do with some tips or advice from people. I need my motivation back - not even the wedding dress not fitting has given me the impetus to be motivated …. I need some help…

DOES anyone have any good ideas to get me back on track?

Protected: Wedding Dresses… email me for the password.

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Knocked Up..

ah ha!!!

Did I get ya??

I just meant we went to the cinema tonight and saw the moooooovie!

Had a great time. Bam came over to sit for the girls and we went out and ate our bodyweight in chocolate and popcorn.

Always a good way to stay motivated for the wedding dress buying. 

On that note.. kind of… have made an appointment to get my Mirena out. But not for knocking up purposes…. I didn’t mean on *that* note.. I meant on the note of fitting into wedding dresses.

I feel this hormone thingy is stopping my body from being normal. I am not being the best behaved person in the world and I’m certainly not sticking to ww 100%.

But

I am being good. Good enough to lose a 1lb a week I would have thought. And it’s not happening. So I’m getting shot of the hormonal interference and I’m going to see what happens then.

Hopefully - I’ll see some change in that …. otherwise… we’ll just be ruining our sex life for no reason!

I’ll keep you posted.

On the weight loss… not the sex life.

There’s sharing and then there’s *sharing*!!

argh.. done it again

Oh no! It’s loads more days have gone past and I haven’t done any blogging really…

Friday… work was so hectic last week. We had Sarah and family to stay on Friday night and I hadn’t seen her since I was 5 months pregnant with Ella. She’s my best mate but we’re both so hectic with kids and life and no money that it’s always so hard to arrange anything.

We had a great time on Friday night - chatted, drank and chatted more. She looked great and I miss her loads.

Saturday we all had a day out, went out for lunch and did some shopping. The boys took the kids back to ours (Sarah and Steve have two girls too) and Sarah and I went dress shopping. I have posted the picture of hers obviously - I would love to post the pictures of some that I tried on but BN reads this blog so I can’t!

We had an excellent time shopping in the end - our first experience wasn’t so great. I really should have listened to Kirsty and Bam when they told me that Pronuptia was the City of the Dead. They have to be the most unwelcoming miserable women I have ever had the misfortune to meet. I was so excited about trying on dresses with Sarah. I was hoping for a giggle and some silliness - some froo froo silly frocks and hopefully a few that looked like ‘the one’…

Pronuptial women made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for their shop and that really I shouldn’t be looking at *their* dresses. She stood 2ft away from Sarah and I while we got a chance to look at.. ooh about 4 dresses. We kept giving each other sideways glances and as we selected our 3rd dress, Crankety McEvil whisked them away, hung them in a changing room, ushered me in there, ordered me to undress to my underwear and swept the curtain shut as she walked away in one fluid movement. A very practiced routine.

I felt like my face didn’t fit. I am not thin. I am not a beautiful goddess of weddingy gorgeousness. I am me. And *me* clearly wasn’t good enough.

Sarah is such a good friend. Are you OK she whispered from behind the curtain. I pulled the curtain back and asked the ice queen .. ‘exactly what is the process here? You haven’t explained anything to me’.

Strip to your underwear and I’ll be in to fit you into each dress. She said in a harsh German accent. Ok well maybe not German accent but you get the picture.

Strip to your underwear. STRIP!! I suddenly had the mental image of a 1950s matron ordering a rectal examination from a terrified patient!!

STRIP!!!! Strip just didn’t conjure up the exciting giggly day I had imagined.

I pulled the curtain back and stood in the changing room. Are you OK? whispered Sarah. I just didn’t want to be in there. I felt so disappointed. I didn’t know of any other wedding shops in Lincoln. I didn’t want to be in here and it seemed like my fantasticly girly afternoon with Sarah wasn’t going to happen.

Come on - let’s go, she said. It’s horrible in here and we deserve to have a good time. She said it loudly and the woman turned round at the other end of the shop.

We’re leaving I said. We don’t want to be in here and we’re going to go and try somewhere else.

She looked… well to be honest… annoyingly… she looked relieved. I was clearly right. My face just hadn’t fit. She hadn’t wanted to help me. I just wasn’t Pronuptia client material obviously.

Well. BUM to them

We walked out, Sarah suggested phoning 118, we found two more shops listed and one was right round the corner. We went in and instantly the whole atmosphere was so different. The girl was lovely. Really made it special. We chose Sarah’s chocolate brown dress first and then we got led over to the other side and were left alone in the bridal area for a good 15 minutes. We giggled, and cooed and ahhhd over dresses and had such a great time.

Thank you to Image for a really lovely time..

So… Sunday we lazed… went shopping… walked about… bought a couple of inconsequential things… lazed some more. BN thinks that Ella said kiss before giving him a kiss on the face. Rowan’s birthday is coming up and we keep pointing things out to her. I think the other day she said she wanted something a bit bizarre.. like oh I don’t know… a gravy boat or something. It wasn’t a gravy boat but I just can’t remember.

She’s getting bunk beds (more our choice really as the room is really small and next month, Ella is going in it. The cot bed needs to be turned back into a cot for Ella and Rowan is moving into the lower bunk.

She is thrilled with that idea though which is a relief. Would be kind of a bummer if she was dead set against bunks. It would be kind of torturous, mean presents for people to make them unhappy for their special day

She is very taken with what she’ll do when she’s older at the moment. We’ve had plenty of variations. I think the latest have been working in a bank (to do mortgages) (later revised to being a bank manager at BN’s suggestion), bin man (but only if she could have lots and lots of pink bins and an apron!! She’s very specific) and a professional footballer.

She’s very diverse