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A round up of 2006.

January 1, 2007
by

Saddam Hussein.
Everywhere (literally everywhere that I’ve been cos that’s not been very far over the last two weeks) I’ve heard people (family) talking about it and arguing .. sorry debating… over what was right or wrong…
I heard someone say yesterday that they thought the execution of Saddam was wrong because when Saddam killed all the people he did – he really thought he was doin the right thing….Oh well if he really thought he was then I guess..

Anyway.. 2006 was a pretty good year for me. We were thrilled to welcome a second daughter Ella, into the family if actually a little shocked to find out she was on the way at the end of ’05. It wasn’t particularly planned or unplanned which (for me anyway is the best way I spose) but we did find out 24hrs after making the decision putting babies on the backburner till ’07 so .. I spent the 1st 36-48hrs repeating ‘I don’t believe it’ and ‘how did this happen?’ But hey, she’s here now and we love her and we’re happy If a little sleep deprived.

……. she was awake till half midnight last night (not usual anymore) and when we finally got to bed at 2ish, Big was so tired that I retired to the spare bed next to Rowan only to be kept awake by her snoring until she woke at 4am and played till 5.30am!! I was awake merely 2ft away pinned by the anxiety that if she heard or saw me (or so much as became slightly aware of my presence in any way) that I would then struggle to get her back to sleep at all and then I really *would* be doomed to insomnia for the rest of the night and I really was shattered. 😐

We never spend the night apart and I mistakenly thought that he and I would sleep better in different rooms. WHAT an error. When I finally decided I had to move (having had my fill of hearing Rowan and her Dora the Explorer doll play round and round the garden) Rowan immediately jumped up and said ‘.. ‘ello mummy’ I settled her back down and practically galloped back to safety only to be woken at 7 for a baby feed. She then didn’t actually surface till 9am! I had gotten up at 8 with Rowan.

So.. I’m knackered and I’m not really sure why I’m not in bed 🙂

So anyway I digress – 2006 – another baby. We’re both pretty sure there won’t be another so 2007 will be all about finding a niche for BN to start a career for himself and create some extra income for us. I know he’s desperate to be out and about and I don’t begrudge him that. Two years at home looking after children isn’t exactly what he had in mind bless him. His turn now I think.

Work is good – earnt well last year but it won’t be as good this year as I only earn on growth yr on yr so it’ll be lots of hard work without personal financial gain. There’s no doubt that the turnover suffers without me there to chivvy so hopefully it’ll be working toward a profitable 2008 for us. 2006 was another bad year for my crap attempt at managing our money. 2007 is going to be all about me putting some distance between us and the credit cards. It’s time to take proper control and stop moving debt from pillar to post trying to avoid the reality which is that we’re in a mess.

I’m going to lose all the baby weight – I’ve done it before so I can do it again – and hopefully find a way to afford the wedding that we have booked for August. It may not happen – I think I’m starting to admit that to myself but I’ll work hard trying to make it happen until I absolutely have to admit defeat.

I am going to be more organised and get things done and I think that this year we should make a concerted effort to finish our house so we’re ready to move on (if we can ever afford it 😉 ) I really feel that I spend to much time not accomplishing much of anything. I will get BN sorted with cash to get his driving license this year (I would say mine but it really would be a TOTAL lie. I don’t want to drive and never have. I will get round to it when I absolutely have to but I really don’t want to so maybe next year.. 😮 just thinking about it makes me shiver.

I’m going to be less insecure and learn to appreciate what I’ve got hopefully. Sort my shit out and stop moaning about being too fat/poor and bored at work. Maybe I will actually get off my backside and move on to pastures new and get a new job.

Merry. The last thing is my sister. She has had a hard year this year and I couldn’t be there for her really. Her choice. I desperately wanted to be. I have learnt a lot about her this year and only due to her blog which is just sad. I have always thought I have known her – and of course I do to some extent – but this year I am going to stop thinking that I know her and I am going to spend proper time with her and I am going to get to know her. And hopefully she will get to know me. So get a comfy mattress on the spare bed 😉

She got me thinking that this is a really good way of getting your thoughts down on paper. I’m finding it shockingly easy to be very honest about me and more me. Easier – much easier than I ever thought. I don’t find it easy to share which I know would shock people that think they know me. I find it easy to talk, yes, but I’d much rather listen than share. I find it odd really. I can talk to BN easily but sometimes he isn’t the world’s greatest talker (he’d readily admit that) and I am guilty of utter ramblings from time to time that I’m conscious may er.. no probably bore him – I can shoot the breeze until I’m hoarse but I don’t always share what I should or what I’m sure I could and subsequently bottle a lot.

So at the end of this year I’ll be telling you how pleased I am that I have a friend in my sister and more than a family oriented obliging to be communicative which is I think how we feel sometimes. I have made a conscious decision that 2007 will be the year I get to know my sister. Properly. And I think that’s the first real resolution that I have ever made.

x

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 2, 2007 9:35 am

    Aw 🙂

  2. January 2, 2007 9:36 am

    And what do you mean about the mattress??? It’s the second most expensive one in the house!

  3. January 2, 2007 11:01 am

    ha ha!!! Well – when was pregnant upstairs in room with Rowan it felt v thin!! But then – was v massive so it was probably me!! tee hee 😉

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