Skip to content

Nursery Crime..

March 7, 2007

Well.. today I gave notice on the nursery and explained why.

I saw S, the assistant manager of the nursery and asked if I could have a word in private. I’m just not good at these things when they’re personal and instantly felt myself getting teary.. (something I’m quite prone to!)

S asked me if there was something wrong and I explained that I was giving my notice and I started to explain the reasons why.

I went through the toilet training confusion and the apparent lack of communication between the staff. S got very teary. She had been the one to show me around and give me the ‘sales pitch’ so to speak and seemed genuinely upset.

Every time I tried to say that if it was any other thing, but my child was just not something I was capable of compromising on. She agreed.
‘She’s your child’, she said. ‘If your instinct is telling to act, then you must. Whether I agree or not’.

She said she has worked there for 8 years and no-one had ever removed a child before and that she was shocked and felt responsible. I did feel bad. S didn’t work on the floor that Rowan was on but is responsible for showing round new parents. Her effort in bringing us in was being let down by the approach of the other staff.

‘I’m not good at this.. I hate to be the reason that someone is upset..’

‘It’s fine’ she said,‘This is so unprofessional but I’m no good at things like this either’ more tears..

I explained that the reason we were concerned is that in the beginning we were ‘sold’ that Rowan would be treated by them exactly as she would be if she were at home. If we wanted to skip ‘potty’ training and go straight for the toilet, then they would support that 100% and follow our wishes.

‘It’s your choice.. we do what you want us to do.. we should be an extension of your parenting not acting against it’

What was so frustrating for us was repeatedly hearing from the staff (like every time BN picked her up) that she had gone to the toilet on the potty ..

‘We don’t want her on the potty – we want her to be encouraged to go on the toilet’

staff: ‘Oh well – now we know that, we can do that for you. It’s just here at this nursery we do the High Scope method and we like to let the child lead and we follow that lead..’

‘Yeah that’s fine, but I want her to be encouraged to go on the toilet so please could you do that for her?

‘OK, well now we know that … we can do that for you…’

The trouble is… this was said every time. Two weeks in a row – this was said to BN, by the *same* woman!!

You can see our frustration..?

I said to S, if only they had said, ‘we’re trying to encourage her to the toilet, but she won’t go on it’, or ‘she’s desperate to use the potty because every one else does and she feels left out’ or even that ‘she’s trying to get to the toilet but she’s just not making it that far’… anything but

‘well .. now we know…’

It was just that this was so annoying, irritating and frankly just worrying.

We were told that each child had a file where everything was written down and each member of staff could refer to it and check the details for each child. In that file was supposed to be our preferences for toilet training, but also in that file, they have the identities and photos of people that we trust to collect Rowan if for some reason we can’t make it…. so do they not look at that either..?

I said to S that there have been days where I sent Rowan having just given her Calpol. (They are free to give her paracetamol and Neurofen at our instruction).. so if they don’t communicate about toilets and potties etc.. what does this leave me to wonder about the administration of drugs and the organisation in that regard…?

Does one staff member tell the other accurately the message I give at the front door?

I just don’t think we can take that chance.

One of the last things was the nits. Now nits aren’t an issue. Clearly nurseries and schools, they get nits.. not a problem. But.. Scotty got a letter and I didn’t. Why didn’t I get a letter that they had nits?

It turns out they have a peg system for communication. I found out today that each child has a peg where letters are left for us determining new activities coming in or things she needs to bring with her to the next session.. Only problem is with this fantastic communication system is.. they didn’t actually communicate that to us.. 🙄

But then today.. seeing how upset she was.. genuinely.. I could see it was real.. I felt so sorry for her and tonight all I feel is that maybe I haven’t been fair..

My instinct was to protect my child and make sure that she was safe and looked after in the way that we wish but the reality of doing that is that I almost feel that I may have jumped the gun and all I feel is guilty..

2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 8, 2007 12:35 am

    Try not to be so hard on yourself. You have to do what feels right for you and your family.

  2. March 8, 2007 10:10 am

    I don’t think so, honestly i don’t. I think all those things you’ve said are REALLY valid concerns – we’ve used several nurseries and i’ve never had to worry about stuff like that. In fact, Amelie’s brief experience of nursery included a fairly bad spell of Asthma and if i took her in and said she’d had inhalers, the staffm member wrote it down in front of me and then referred back to it at the end of the session.

    crappy to have a bad first experience; learning experience too though. Will make you more informed for another choice. Some great nurseries out there.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: