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October 13, 2008

Dear Rowan

My dearest, little Rowan.

Your 48 month letter. I can’t believe it. Sigh…


13th October – 19:49 plus about 15 minutes. Your first ever photo. I still can’t get over that that’s my thumb next to your head. You were just teeny tiny. Your head fit into the palm of my hand – and your body fit into daddy’s hand with your little chin resting on his first finger and your weeny legsΒ  bent up at the knee resting on his wrist.

Perhaps more than any other birthday I have thought about your birth today. Even more than I thought I would. I am struggling to take in that 4 years have flown past since you turned my world upside down. My mama-love crushing my heart since the second you arrived.

You just treated me to the (almost straight forward) text book beautiful agony that is just so ‘you’. A little naughtiness enough to be naughty … mixed with just enough perfect to be irresistible. Trying to sum you up is impossible though.

Left alone all day practically in that delivery room with your daddy – not really knowing what to expect but just feeling the whole thing go as it’s supposed to. Just so lucky. I was anxious to get you here after a slightly stressful pregnancy.

I remember as we walked into the labour room – the whole thing still seemed to be so surreal. We were giggling like sleep deprived toddlers about how funny it all was. The contractions not yet painful enough to put me off my humour. Parents – us? Crazy. Are they really gonna let us walk out of here with one of these baby things? We don’t have a clue!

Then I saw it. The fishbowl. The baby cot. And then it hit me. We were having a baby. A child. And very soon our little girl, was going to be in that cot. Ours.

And I had a sudden & unexpected little tear for you – I was so excited.

2 days old
2 days old – My favourite picture from this time. You were on my lap here… so fast asleep and concentrating so hard.

3 days old
3 days old

You are just the most amazing blend of intelligent, infant, grace and destruction and every day I am envious of your black and white view of the world. Everything just *is* to you… and if it isn’t… then it just *isn’t*. You’re so like ‘whatever, dude!’


Taken today at Queen’s park in Loughborough. You were amazed by the birds in the aviary and just had so much to say about them.

We’ve had a fantastic day today. In fact all weekend – you’ve been treated to a birthday extravaganza! And you’ve been every inch the perfect child from beginning to end! That is amazing in itself! You have been known to be rather emotional at times with a penchant for the dramatical πŸ˜‰

On Friday I took the day off work and after you spent the day at nursery we came over to Granny and Grampty’s house. You were so excited all day about coming here and your day was just perfected by the fact that I came to get you from nursery with Daddy. You love it when I come and you treat it like it’s a really special moment.

We came over in the afternoon and met up with all the family here,



Uncle Rich and Big E, Uncle Max and Aunty Merry & all the girls. You just get so thrilled when you see them all and you’re in your element bossing everyone around and absolutely adoring being part of the gang and treated like one of the girls.


You’re a sensitive little soul – and I’m always watching out for you.


We had a party for you on Saturday and Aunty Sarah came with Uncle Steve and O & E. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so excited. Grampty & I went shopping and we bought loads of stuff for a little picky tea – pretzels, mini sausages, crisps, pizza and some curly fries and cheese and pineapple for Daddy πŸ™‚ Hardly amazing but perfect for you – I think you ate your weight in Curly Fries!


You and the gang all going bananas on the party blowers and raucous laughter banging off the walls. I just loved every second of seeing you enjoying yourself so much ‘cos you never make a secret of when you’re having a great time πŸ™‚



You unwrapped some presents and you got a sing-a-long CD player, a Peppa Pig Playhouse and some Moonsand (thanks very Much Aunty Sarah!). The girls all went bonkers for the Peppa Pig house – I was a div and forgot to get batteries for the CD player. Annoying – I never forget things like that and it really irritated me that I never thought of it. As soon as you unwrapped it I realised you wouldn’t even be able to have a go – and you were not happy! πŸ˜† Luckily Uncle Steve came to the rescue on Sunday morning πŸ™‚


You and all the girls passed out relatively early after all the excitement and we didn’t hear anything of you the next morning – and then only briefly as you were whisked away by the cousin contingent and spent the morning watching DVDs in the lounge. Barbie and the Nutcracker is a particular favourite of yours at the moment and you have been known to watch that 3 times in a row and ask for a fourth.

I had to put my foot down today πŸ™‚ When I start to know the words, we have to draw a line. Even Fran was losing patience with that film πŸ˜†

Today was your actual birthday and you had a great time, I hope. We took you to the park, you played for almost two hours on their amazing playground in Loughborough (every council should have one of these – it’s amazing! I wish we had something even half as good in Lincoln)





and then we took you to the aviary where all the cockateels in the last caged area all suddenly flew at the bars and squawked and screeched at us for about a minute. We told you they were singing happy birthday and you absolutely loved it!! It was amazing how they reacted to you and Ella close to the cage and they really seemed to be talking to you!



You are growing more and more articulate every day – mentioned by a waitress today at the cafe restaurant where we took you for birthday treats this afternoon.


‘Your girls seem to be so articulate – most children just sit there when they come in and seem to require entertainment the whole time or they’re quiet – your two just seemed different’


I just about popped with mama-pride.





This is you and Ella playing dinosaurs for the camera… I didn’t capture it brilliantly but you were having fun, lookin’ mean! The straws were an integral part of that, apparently πŸ™„

You are saying increasingly intelligent things – coming out with observations and queries about the world and the people you know in it. ‘That plane up there is going to Scotland, to get Uncle Rich back’.

Each day you seem to be bigger… in all ways. Bigger personality. You’re growing so much. So eloquent & inquisitive. ‘But why…?’ is something we hear a lot. A LOT! πŸ˜†

Your Peppa Pig cake was the height of a great party on Saturday – Grampty brought it in after going to a little trouble to get you something he knew you would love and you were so excited when you realised it was time for Happy Birthday singing! The lights went out and the candles lit up the room and your little face – you kept hugging your daddy so tight from your chair, you were so excited you couldn’t help it – I had a massive lump in my throat and I don’t mind admitting it. You were mesmerised. When the cake was set in front of you – you saw the design..


“PEPPA PIG! I LOVE IT!” You beamed.


I think my dad’s heart just about burst with love and happiness that you were so so pleased with it.


Daddy made everyone laugh by pretending not to hear any of you asking for cake… he had you all screaming with giggles and delight – arms reaching for the ceiling desperate for a piece of the Peppa Pig gooeyness πŸ˜†

Your cheeky little sense of humour. Your curious nature and your fantastical imagination.

‘Rowan – are you finished yet?’

‘Mummy – I need more time’

Rowan – you’ve been sat on that toilet for twenty minutes. I think you’re done’

‘No mummy – the little ones are too scared to come out! They’re climbing down the ladder!’

‘You have a ladder in your bum?!’

You looked at me with this newsreader Jeremy Paxman, slightly cheeky down-the-nose smirk

‘Yes – I certainly do…’

I nearly cried with giggles πŸ™‚

You are infuriating. You’re a complete test. You are the cheekiest, most stubborn, ridiculously argumentative, emotional, sensitive little soul. You are always right. You are even articulate enough to assess, at 3, that you like to be right. And not only that – you’re able to discern that we need to share the rightness. ‘You can be right this time, mummy and I’ll be right next time!’ you said to me the other day…

You’re growing up. You want to look different. You wanted your hair cut….


and still you want it shorter…



Your beautiful little baby curls that I hung on to for as long as possible, are gone forever. You’re aching to be older. Bigger, better…


You are a treasure. You make me laugh every day. When you put your little hands on my face and kiss me…. my heart stops.


…….. It’s been an amazing year… you’ve been poorly..
4th Ear Infection since 16th December.

You’ve relaxed
Relaxing & Eating.

You’ve cooked…
Folding it in

Most of all ….. You’ve changed. This was last year.

You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are the most loving, the most tender and the most breathtaking little 4 year old I know.

I love you.

My mini me.


My first baby… my sweetheart

mummy x

One Comment leave one →
  1. October 15, 2008 6:54 am

    With a rich brown Tobacco finish, black leather seat and intricate detailing, this swivel stool is a beautiful addition to any home. Beata Mommy

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