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The one with the missing key: The shortened version.

August 3, 2009

Any of you that follow me on twitter – will know that Friday was not a funny day.

I got home from work to find BN in a bad mood and both the girls standing against the wall in the back garden looking very ‘in trouble’.

It turned out that the kids had played with the back door key at some point in the preceding 2 hours – taken it from the door and played with it. The only trouble is that when you are two or four? Playing with something invariably ends up with losing it or breaking it.

It was well and truly lost.

Both girls swayed between scared of the trouble they were in, to making up stories about what they had done with it .. to occasionally letting little giggles slip out when they thought they were getting away with it.

BN and I swayed between being fucking mad about it, to almost laughing at them and listening to the crazy crap they were making up.

I looked around the garden.

It was our only key. It’s old. The door is a pile of shite. Holes in it, old, rotten, not exactly a deterrent from the glories of the inside. I really, REALLY resented the prospect of buying a new lock for a door that you could knock down with a bad sneeze.

You know that feeling you get when you know you have to look for something – but you also kinda know that you are never gonna find it. Never. You almost move stuff, you peer under, around and behind – but you don’t really look because really? Really you think it’s here


excuse the weeds!  ….

Or here?


Or here?


I was thinking – this key is down a dirty old drain, poked in some little hole somewhere or over the neighbour’s wall? To be honest I just wanted them to miraculously remember where they put it so I could get inside and put my feet up!




So the girls got sent to bed with no tea. I felt so bad. Rowan cried herself to sleep. She came out at one point onto the landing and said she was trying to think about where it was. ‘I’m just thinking, mummy’ … but they obviously couldn’t remember and it was pointless thrashing it out.

I felt awful sending them to bed hungry and to be honest I didn’t actually think that Ella would make it through the whole night with no food inside her, but I felt it was important for them to understand what they had done was very naughty… and seeing as Rowan is pretty much only governed by her stomach and how much is in it? I thought this was the best plan!

We settled down to an evening in, bolted the back door and commiserated about the new lock for the old door scenario and accepted the fact that we would be paying out some more cash for the craptastic shit house.


Doing some housework the next day and BN is all over the laundry like Rowan on a bowl of ice cream and what should he find?


It actually sprung out of the drawer onto the floor and had to be located…. but it turns out that when you’re 3? A washing machine is a great place for a key!

35 Comments leave one →
  1. August 4, 2009 12:45 am

    that reminds me, everythime I called the engineer out to my machine he would tell me I needed to clean out behind the drawer or it gets full of old and smelly laundry liquid. Everytime I would smile and pretend to care as he cleaned it for me. I had a free repair or replace policy for oooooh around 12 years, it got cleaned around once a year I reckon. I don’t have that policy now so am off to clean the drawer now, ish, well I have some blogs to read….

    287 Merry ;o)


  2. Merry permalink
    August 4, 2009 9:38 am


    I could tell you a story… but i am going to do it in the next box down. See ya there Mrs HoJo.

  3. Merry permalink
    August 4, 2009 9:42 am

    When Fran was 4 and i was in my most Montessori phase, we had a period of time where no toy was ever incomplete. Lost things drove me mad.

    I bought a Plan Toys wooden shape board thing, one with 4 rows of 4 shapes all at different heights. I had no money and it cost £13 and i had saved up i tell you.

    We had it in the house for an hour and one little bit went missing. The little blue rectangle. Not that i’m bitter.

    I searched the house – ALL DAY. I shouted and ranted and cleaned and moved and searched and made everyone’s life a misery. I was so cross.

    Everyone went to bed sad and then i sat down and stared at the tv in a temper. And on top of the tv, nestled into the corner of a stone photo frame, was the puzzle piece.

    Of course.

  4. Merry permalink
    August 4, 2009 9:44 am

    And don’t even start me on the day we moved out of the first house we owned and i hadn’t found the ladyird print rattle from the Duplo set. Nearly 10 years now and i still wonder.

    Bless your girls – fancy sending them to bed with no tea when if you were only better at doing your washing regularly, you’d have found it 😉

  5. Merry permalink
    August 4, 2009 9:45 am

    HA! Mrs HoJo!!!!!!

  6. August 4, 2009 2:37 pm

    As the sister said on twitter on Friday night, we once thought (at pretty much the same ages) that the snow would be a good idea. And in those days it was never around for just an hour or two like it is today!

  7. August 4, 2009 8:08 pm

    I can’t believe you didn’t look there first. Was obvious place to store a key, no?

  8. August 5, 2009 1:40 pm

    cheater! That should all have been one

  9. August 5, 2009 1:40 pm


  10. August 5, 2009 1:40 pm


  11. August 5, 2009 1:41 pm

    does this all count as spam?

    *innocent smile as we hack our way thru the nutters blog*

  12. August 5, 2009 5:55 pm

    I can definitely see why you wouldn’t have guessed to look there. Glad you found it though.

  13. Merry permalink
    August 5, 2009 7:24 pm

    I cannot…

  14. Merry permalink
    August 5, 2009 7:24 pm

    … believe…

  15. Merry permalink
    August 5, 2009 7:25 pm

    …you sunk…

  16. Merry permalink
    August 5, 2009 7:25 pm

    … so low!!!!!

  17. August 5, 2009 10:59 pm

    3 year olds… gotta love them… even when u feel like killing them!!! 🙂

  18. August 6, 2009 7:24 pm


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  20. August 6, 2009 7:25 pm


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  26. August 6, 2009 10:02 pm

    yes they can – and I think you just joined in 🙂

  27. August 9, 2009 1:38 pm

    hey, I feel like I am in the cool corner

  28. August 9, 2009 1:39 pm

    hanging with the cool commenters

  29. August 9, 2009 1:39 pm

    or spammers, depending on your pov


  30. August 9, 2009 4:16 pm


  31. August 9, 2009 4:16 pm

    lovin’ your work.

  32. August 9, 2009 4:16 pm

    That was aimed at Mrs Hojo, obviously.

  33. August 9, 2009 4:17 pm

    Although it goes without saying that I’m lovin’ your work too Mrs BN.

  34. August 9, 2009 11:54 pm

    oh yeah, feel the

  35. August 9, 2009 11:54 pm

    love :o)


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