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Work is Looming

January 16, 2012
by

I have three weeks left.

Three.

Bless my little Nina – Full Stop as she’s known in the house – she was a happy accident – a blessing – but an unexpected one…. last year’s maternity leave left us rather lacking in the financial department to be honest and when it became clear that we were going to be having another baby, we had to make plans as to what was achievable – not achievable – realistic….

It became clear very quickly that I wasn’t going to be able to take 6 months off work again. The mat leave payment scheme at work is pretty good. The length of time I’ve been there affords me 3 months off fully paid – which is great (otherwise I’d have been back at work when she was two weeks old!) but it does mean that I have to go back when she’s only three months.

My bank balance just can’t take another three months paid at only SMP. It’s really sad and I’m not coping very well with it really. She’s so tiny. She’s been smiling for a few weeks but just this morning was the first time I got a glimpse of a proper laugh when I tickled her. And it was great and really awful all in one go.

My childminder is excellent – she has Kit all day as well so the familiarity for them both there will be great – the girls are there every morning and evening too – which is better still. She’s also really honest with me which I love. If Kit says a new word – she tells me – if he does something new like jump – she tells me. I don’t get on very well with the nurseries and so on that keep milestones a secret. It suits some but not us. We like to know.

But it hit me this morning that she will likely be telling me when Nina rolls over… when she crawls, when she walks or says her first word – all of this is likely to be stuff that I miss – that she will see.

And as much as love my childminder – I’m not happy about that and I can’t pretend that I am.

3 weeks to go.

😦 Big unhappy today.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. January 16, 2012 2:44 pm

    Oh hunny, it just sucks. I wish I could change it for you 😦

  2. January 16, 2012 4:22 pm

    Sorry you are unhappy,I truly understand how you feel.

  3. mrshojo permalink
    January 17, 2012 11:39 am

    nawww not very helpful but shame 😦

    xc

  4. January 19, 2012 12:39 pm

    thank you x It’s Planet Pants but hey ho x

  5. Tilly permalink
    January 19, 2012 6:27 pm

    Are you in the UK? I thought it was six months paid maternity leave here?

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